For the Children

So Chandler had been visiting Abraham. And he’d done so repeatedly. She’d suspected as much. And was still disappointed to have her suspicion confirmed. The man was as determined and know-it-all as ever.

“There are no easy answers, are there?”

“No, Judge, there sure aren’t. Abraham might’ve made it quicker if he’d been able to stay home and play ball. But he might’ve ended up dead, too.”

“I could have found a way to keep him on that team, even if it meant getting someone to carpool him back to Menlo Ranch.”

“You’d have had a hell of a time finding someone willing to do all that driving.”

Valerie didn’t think so. She knew one man who would have jumped at the chance.

KIRK WAS at the cemetery Friday afternoon, rearranging the baby-pink roses that had been delivered, when his cell phone rang. Recognizing Troy’s number, he answered immediately.

“Sorry, pal.” Troy’s voice was deader than most of the people around him. “Tests came back negative.”

“What do you mean, negative?” he asked, turning his back so his gruff tone was away from his daughter’s grave. What was Troy talking about?

“I mean you are not the father of Susan’s baby.”

You are not the father of Susan’s baby.

The words reverberated through Kirk after he hung up the phone. Sliding down to his usual seat against the headstone, he took the news calmly. His heart wasn’t beating any faster. His breathing was normal. There was no anger raging through him. No veins popping in his neck.

You are not the father of Susan’s baby.

He wasn’t really surprised. He’d wanted to believe in second chances, but all along, he’d known better. Since watching his baby girl lose her battle with life, while he sat helplessly, unable to do a damn thing to save her, he’d known he was not what fathers were made of. He’d been born without whatever instinct was given to a man that enabled him to be a good father.

He wasn’t hero material.

“You knew your old man was a fool all along, didn’t you, sweetheart?” he asked softly, pulling at some grass between his feet. “What would I have done with a second chance, anyway? Except fail? The only talents your father has lie in business, little girl. He can succeed there all day long. But don’t ever get to hoping he’ll succeed at life, you hear me?” His tone grew louder with the intensity of his message to her. “Because you’ll just be setting yourself up for disappointment if you do, and I can’t bear to disappoint you again, Alicia.”

Though he stayed and talked to her long after darkness had fallen and the ground had grown cold, Alicia never said a word.

KIRK WASN’T REALLY surprised to see Valerie’s car outside his house that evening. She knew Susan, could easily get his address if she didn’t have it already, and would also have heard that Susan’s son was not his.

He just wasn’t sure if she was there to commiserate. Or to gloat. He couldn’t imagine either.

“Where have you been?” she asked, almost like an accusatory wife, as he stopped the Vette in the driveway and climbed out.

“The cemetary,” he said before he’d registered the urgency in her tone.

His senses were dulled but not dead. Yet. “What is it?” he asked, hurrying over to her. If one of the twins was sick or in trouble…

He’d do whatever it took to wipe that stricken expression from her beautiful face.

“Abraham Billings attempted suicide today. He’s in a hospital on the west side. He’s conscious, but won’t talk to anyone but you.”

Kirk insisted on driving, and on the way to the hospital Valerie gave him the details. By the time he reached the boy’s room, he was himself again. Strong. Determined.

“IT’S NOT THAT the Mortons are so bad,” Abraham told Kirk, talking to him like a desperate kid confiding in a trusted adult. Valerie couldn’t help recognizing the positive effect Kirk had on the boy. The trust that had developed between them. Before he saw Kirk, his face had been sullen. Drawn.

It was the only kind of look she’d ever seen in the past. With the exception of the few minutes in her courtroom while they were removing him from his mother.

Carla Billings had been called, and had made a quick trip over. They’d only let her see him for an hour. She’d left eventually, but had adamantly announced she’d be back.

Mrs. Morton had been by the boy’s side the entire day, having left only to go down to the cafeteria for a late dinner after Valerie and Kirk arrived.

“It’s just that, you know, I miss what I had. You. The team. Every time I see you, I think about the other kids getting you every day at school and I just about go crazy wanting that, too.”