Second Time's the Charm

And then there was the shocked look in Jon’s eyes. His utter disbelief as he stared at her was her doing. How she wished things were different. Wished she was free to love him as he deserved to be loved.

As she wanted to love him.

“You have a child?” Clearly it was the last thing he’d expected to hear.

Swallowing, she saw again the stone Kirk had brought for her approval. A stone for their son’s grave.

She’d told him he could have it placed. He was doing so in the morning. Having a little ceremony, just himself and a minister from the church he’d been attending. He’d invited Lillie but she had an appointment at the clinic, an MRI procedure with a four-year-old. Her new life taking precedence over the old.

Jon was still waiting for her answer.

“Had.”

He froze. And she could tell the instant that understanding dawned.

“Oh, God, Lil. Oh... I’m sorry. I had no... You didn’t... No one said...”

Putting a shaky finger to his lips, she said, “Shhh. It’s okay. It’s not your fault, Jon.” She was tired. Needed to sleep. And get up in the morning to the new life she’d built for herself. “There’s no way you could have known,” she said, her voice raw from all the crying. “No one here knows.”

“No one? Not even Caroline?”

She shook her head and knew she was going to have to explain.

* * *

HE HADN’T FIGURED on this. Sitting in his bed with the woman he loved, Jon kept watching her, listening to her.

“I never should have married Kirk.” Lillie hung her head, picking at a string on the hem of her jeans, exhibiting none of her usual confidence. Even her mannerisms were different. “I’d just been dating him a short time when my parents were killed. I was all alone in the world and there he was, this larger-than-life popular guy who was certain that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. He took me home and introduced me to his parents, who immediately took me in like I was one of their own. Kirk showed me a world where I didn’t have to be alone ever again.”

He hadn’t asked about the guy. Or the guy’s perfect family. Something he would never be able to offer her.

He wanted to know about her child.

And he had to know what had driven her to keep such a monumental secret.

Not that he was one to judge on that score. Jon had secrets, too.

“I found out about Kirk’s girlfriends about the same time I found out I was pregnant,” she continued, still looking down. “He’d told me that there had only been two affairs, that he’d ended both, and that there would never be another. I thought the baby was going to save our marriage.”

“You loved him enough to forgive him for being unfaithful to you?” It hadn’t sounded that way.

“Kirk and his parents were my family. They were all I had. He was the father of my child. I guess I didn’t let myself think beyond that.” At that, Lillie glanced over at him, and he wasn’t sure what he read in her eyes.

He wasn’t sure about anything at the moment. All he knew was that Lillie had made decisions that he and Abe hadn’t changed.

“It’s understandable, given the circumstances,” he said. “You were pregnant with nowhere to turn.”

It occurred to him to stop this now. To let her off the hook. He didn’t need to know any more. Unless she needed to tell him.

The possibility kept him quiet.

“My being pregnant kept Kirk home,” Lillie said. “He’d bring presents almost every day, one for me, one for the baby. Little things. It wasn’t unusual for him to leave the office early and have dinner waiting when I got home from work.”

Nothing less than she deserved—and Jon had no business wishing he’d been that guy.

Minus the cheating. It wasn’t something he would do. Ever. Not to anyone. People had to be able to trust family. There had to be something in the world you could count on.

“He came to all of my doctor’s appointments,” Lillie continued slowly, a detached, almost unrecognizable tone to her voice. “After our first ultrasound, the doctor called us into her office. I had a feeling something was wrong. Kirk wouldn’t hear a word of it. He was certain I was overreacting. He claimed I had a tendency to look for trouble, to guard against it. He always said it was because of the way I’d lost my parents. I was trying to prepare myself so that, if something like that ever happened again, I could get through it.”