Second Time's the Charm

“You just need a little time, Lil. Go back to the cemetery again. Without me there to influence you. Just feel Bray. And the family we should have had...”

“If we should have had a family, we would have,” she said. “And I’ve already been back. This isn’t about you, Kirk. The things you did don’t even come into play here. I simply don’t feel a connection to you anymore, other than as someone I once knew.” She’d thought of little else all weekend. Braydon. Abe. Kirk. Jon.

She wasn’t going to have a life with Jon, but knowing him had changed her. Inexplicably.

He’d shown her her true self.

“I don’t feel any butterflies when I’m with you—”

“Of course not, Lillie. We’ve been married. There’s no mystery. No secrets. But that’s when real love grows.”

Between her and Kirk there was nothing but secrets. Which was part of the problem.

“I don’t feel any desire for you, Kirk,” she said, knowing that she was going to have to be frank to set him free.

“We were at a cemetery, Lil, mourning our son. Of course you’re not going to feel desire.”

“I mean period.” She had no doubts about this one. Because Jon had taught her what real desire felt like.

“Dad told me you’d met someone. He didn’t tell me who, and I figured he was just making it up to keep me away from you. He thinks I’m going to hurt you again, but I’m not, Lil, I swear. I need you to get through this.”

“No, you don’t. You just want me to make things easier for you.” She let his comment about Jon slide away. “And more importantly, I don’t need you, Kirk. You’re going through a difficult time, and I feel compassion for you, but I can’t be the one to help you. Leaning on me, using me, is only going to set you back further in the long run.”

Kirk didn’t want her. He wanted what he couldn’t have. What he’d lost. Maybe because he’d grown up, come face-to-face with his deeper self and found himself lacking. Maybe his need to change was sincere. And maybe he’d even be successful. But if it was going to be real, and long lasting, he had to do it on his own. For himself.

And, she hoped, for Ely, who was still alive and needed him.

But Lillie didn’t need him. What was more, she didn’t love him.

And that was why she couldn’t help him.

* * *

LILLIE MET JON and Abraham at the front door of the clinic, dressed in scrubs with her hair pulled back neatly in a ponytail.

“Illie!” Abraham ran to her when he saw his second favorite person in the world.

“Abie baby, how are you?” she asked, taking him into her arms. She barely gave Jon a glance.

And that was just fine with him at the moment. He wanted her focused 100 percent on his son, working her magic so that Abraham would be calm and receptive and have the best chance of success.

From then until they put Abe under, Jon wanted his son relaxed and happy. He didn’t want his son resisting the procedure.

“We’re going to try laughing gas on him first,” Lillie told Jon as she walked them back to a private playroom for children awaiting treatment. The room was deserted.

Setting Abraham down to play with a plastic truck that he could sit on and push with his feet, she kept an eye on him and said to Jon, “Abe has otitis media with effusion, which means that there is inflammation and fluid buildup due to his narrow ear canals, which creates a blockage to his inner ear and results in hearing loss.”

He knew most of this. From the doctor. And his own internet research over the weekend. It still felt good, hearing it from her, and Jon listened carefully.

She wa

sn’t his lover, or even his former lover. She was the expert who was going to help him and Abe through the coming hours.

She was also the woman he loved. And trusted.

And through her, he trusted the rest of the team to do their jobs to the best of their abilities. Lillie would see to that.

“Jon? You’re staring at me.”