“You can tell him anything you want,” Jon responded. “I have nothing to hide.”
“Hold on.” Addy spoke into the phone, and then said to Jon, “Mark and Lillie are here. They’ve asked me to come out to the lobby. Sit tight.” She stood and, putting her phone in her pocket, left the room.
He was alone again with four windowless walls. Jon leaned back in the chair, remembering Lillie in his bed the night before, laughing as he ran his tongue along her belly.
Believe.
* * *
WALKING WITH PURPOSE, Lillie went straight to the door Greg Richards had indicated and pushed her way inside, closing it behind her with a distinct click.
She’d been given permission to be there. And she was fighting for her future.
“Lillie?” Jon stood, wearing the jeans and T-shirt the sheriff had allowed him to pull on before bringing him in that morning. His eyes wide, he looked surprised, but embarrassed, too. He’d been sitting alone in the room for more than an hour.
“I asked you to believe, Jon.”
He watched her, unsmiling. She was undaunted.
“I want to know your choice. Right now. This minute. Will you marry me or not?”
“I won’t tie you to a convict—”
“Will you marry me or not?”
He wouldn’t be able to turn her down. She really believed that. But he had to believe in himself, too. Or they’d never have a fighting chance against what might come their way.
And one thing Lillie knew was that she had to have a man beside her who would stand in the fire with her. Not leave her there to burn alone, if the occasion arose.
“You aren’t going to—”
“You aren’t going to make my choices,” she said gently, still standing at the door. She couldn’t get closer to him until she knew she’d won. Until he acknowledged that he was hers.
There was always an out with Jon. Always a reason why he couldn’t quite commit. She’d heard it in the stories from his past.
He sacrificed for others. And used sacrifice as a crutch to keep his emotional distance. Keep him safe. She knew. Because she’d been just like him.
He’d even been willing to hand his son over to her. He wanted what was best for his son. But what about for himself?
Her mind raced, as it had been doing most of the day and night before. And all of the morning.
For a man who believed his time with her was limited, he was wasting a lot of it in silence across the room.
“Life is about choices, Jon. I get to make mine. That’s the beauty of it all. And I have made my choice. I choose you. And I need to know your choice.”
She wasn’t going to cry. Or plead. She wanted him to come to her himself. To dare to reach for what he most wanted. To allow himself to shed his past and be whole.
Because if he didn’t, if he couldn’t, she’d never have all of him.
“Let’s wait and see what happens here, Lil. I have to know I can be there for you.”
“Your choice is about whether or not you’ll be willing to let me be there for you, Jon. Do you have the courage to open your heart and let me in?”
“Lil...”
“I’m not telling you what to choose. But I am telling you that I want to know your choice. Now. Because this is what real love is all about. The bad as much as the good. I have to know that no matter what, we’re in this together. Because it’s pretty much a guarantee that there are going to be some hard times in the future, regardless of what happens with this case. Are you going to protect me then, too, by removing the emotion from the situation? Because it’s never the pain that goes away, Jon. It’s only the love that gets lost.”
It had taken her a long time to get the lesson, but she’d finally seen the light.