A Child's Wish

“She’s looking forward to it,” he said, not ready to turn around and leave this room, which thanks to Meredith Foster was as much a safe haven as it was a place of learning. “And I am grateful.”

“I understand.” She smiled. “You and Susan deserve some time away—and alone. I hope you guys have a great evening.”

So did he. But that wasn’t what he meant. “I’m grateful to have someone who shares my enthusiasm for time spent with my daughter,” he remarked, though he supposed it would have been better to keep his honesty to himself.

“Susan loves being with her.”

“Susan loves her,” he corrected. “And she wants very much to get along with her. But Kelsey makes it a little difficult for Susan to be comfortable doing that. I wouldn’t feel all that enthusiastic about it myself, if all I knew of Kelsey was what I see when Susan’s around.”

“That’ll change.”

“I know that.” He was counting on it. “But in the meantime, it’s good to have someone else out there who cares about her and whom Kelsey responds to.”

She nodded, smiled. A real smile that reached her eyes. And reached him. “I can’t imagine how tough it is being a single dad to a little girl.”

He shrugged. Grinned. “Sometimes it’s not hard at all.” Then he grew serious again. “And sometimes, more so lately, it’s like walking around in an unfamiliar, pitch-black room. You never know when you’re about to take a misstep, what you’re going to crash into or when you might fall.”

“Sounds like teaching.” She came closer, leaned against one of the students’ desks, legs crossed in front of her, hands propped on the wood behind her. “Was her mother active in raising her at the beginning?”

Funny how, because he had a child, his personal life wasn’t so personal.

“Very,” he told Meredith. “Kelsey was pretty much her entire life. She never left her with a sitter or even sent her to preschool. Which is part of the reason it was such a shock when she abandoned us.”

“Susan says she didn’t even try to get partial custody.”

“Nope.” He shook his head, thrown momentarily back to the time of disbelief and confusion that had consumed him those first months after Barbie’s departure. “She never tried to see her again.”

“Odd for a women who cared so much.”

Yeah, well, Barbie had had problems. “Anyway, I just wanted to ask…” He started again. “If Kelsey says anything that suggests I’m not doing something I should be, please let me know.”

“Mark, you’re a good father,” she told him easily. “I doubt that she’s going to say anything beyond which boy Josie thinks is cute, which usually means she does, too, or how badly she wants something you won’t buy for her. But if she does, you’ll hear about it.”

He nodded, frowning. “I’m not asking you to betray her confidences.”

“Hey,” she interrupted. “I’m a teacher, remember? I know the fine line we tread when we’re caring for other people’s children—and earning and deserving the trust of the children, too. If Kelsey tells me she has a crush on someone, I’m keeping that to myself. If she tells me something you need to know to keep her safe, healthy and happy, that goes straight to you. Her welfare comes first. Always.”

He should go. He had what he’d come for, for the most part.

“And…uh…with, you know, female stuff.” He cocked his head and tried for nonchalance.

“What about it?”

“She gave me some speech earlier this week about growing up and talking ‘girl stuff.’ I just… If she asks, you’re okay to answer her?”

Meredith burst out laughing. And somehow Mark was smiling, too.

“Are you asking me if I know the answers, Shepherd?”

“No, of course not,” he assured her quickly. Then added, “Well, maybe. Which is entirely ludicrous considering the fact that you spend your days with thirty curious children.”

“Third-graders aren’t all that interested in reproduction,” she told him. “And I don’t think Kelsey is, either. It’s a bit early for her to want to know. But if she does, I think I can remember what my mother told me, even though that was a really long time ago.”

If her tone of voice hadn’t made it perfectly clear that she was teasing him, her ear-to-ear grin did. He was trying to be sensitive, responsible, and she was making fun of him. He should probably take offense.

“It’s okay, Mark,” she said softly, before he could decide how to respond. “If Kelsey asks about her body, I’ll answer her—and I’ll tell you what I told her. I know we purposely leave these things to parents at this age, and then to health class after that, but I’m comfortable speaking with her if the need arises.”

“Thank you.” His gaze couldn’t leave hers.