A Child's Wish

“I’m fine.”

“She said you haven’t been out of your house except to go to school since a week ago Thursday.”

“I told her I’m on a vision quest.” As much as one could be on a soul-searching mission in the middle of a school year when one was a teacher.

“Mark told me Kelsey was a little hard on you last Thursday in his office.”

Momentarily, the comment sent a shot of fear through her. “Kids are honest,” she said as the feeling passed. “She had reason to be confused. I’m glad she talked to me.”

“And I hear she hasn’t spoken with you since.”

“No, but she’s got her best friend back.” She’d noticed the two hanging out together at lunch and recess all week. And she’d been thankful for that. Kelsey needed a best friend more than just about anything else, to help stabilize her through the changes that were coming to her life.

“And you canceled your handball game.”

“I had a lot of papers to grade.”

“You didn’t go to yoga.”

“The vision-quest thing.” Her mother and Susan should understand that. They’d been the ones who’d talked her into going on the two-week spiritual hiatus that had helped her come to terms with her gift one summer during college.

“It’s not flying, Mer.” Susan’s voice was dry. “A legitimate vision quest I would support completely. This ‘excuse’ of one to camouflage the fact that you’re hiding, I’m not buying. Get dressed. Mark and Kelsey are expecting us in half an hour.”

“I can’t.” She heard the change in her voice, the weakness, and hated that it was there. She hated popcorn, too. Meredith dumped the stuff, plastic bowl and all, in the waste basket in the corner of her room.

“Yes, you can.”

“Not until I figure out some things.” Over by the window, she scanned the familiar branches and leaves covering half of her garage. Watched the clouds change color as the sun slid behind them.

“What things?”

“What’s real about me and what isn’t.”

Susan’s determination was stronger than her own. But then, Susan was stronger than she was. “What does that mean?”

She sighed. Closed her eyes. But everything was the same when she blocked out the world.

“Do I really feel what other people feel, Suze—or do I just think I do? Am I nuts? Because I gotta tell you, if this gift is for real I’m wondering why more people don’t accept it. Wouldn’t you think people would recognize the truth?”

“So you’re saying that because people are skeptical it can’t be true?”

Maybe. That could be just what she was saying.

“I’m saying I’m keeping to myself for a while, staying away from other people and their feelings so I can clear my head.”

“You’re hiding because you felt Kelsey’s fear and it scares you. The gift scares you.”

“How do you know that?”

“Your mother told me.”

That was a low blow. The one person who was always spot on when Meredith struggled was her mother.

“Why didn’t she tell me herself?”

“Because she’s in Florida. And worried about you.”

“I’ll be fine.”