“I think that I believe in logic, what I can see, what makes sense to my mind. I trust things that are proven to be true—and the people in whom I can see a steady track record of trustworthiness.”
“You base trust solely on logic?”
“That’s correct.” She was getting it. There was some satisfaction in that.
“Trust comes from the heart.”
He almost got frustrated with her again. She didn’t give up.
Neither did he. He didn’t want to be frustrated with Meredith tonight. In the first place, she’d brought some peace to a turbulent evening. And in the second, if he gave up she’d leave and there’d be nowhere else for them to go, no common ground upon which they could meet. They’d have nothing more to say to each other. Ever. He didn’t really have a definition
for their relationship. It was more than boss/employee but not quite as intimate as friendship. But whatever it was, he didn’t want it to be over.
She was almost family to the woman he intended to marry.
“I don’t know how to listen to my heart,” he said.
“You know. You just don’t realize that you know.”
Which made perfect Meredith sense—and was nonsense to him.
“You listen to your heart every time you do things for Kelsey that aren’t guided strictly by logic.”
He thought for a minute. “I have a reason for everything I do for her.”
“What about those butterfly jeans I saw her wearing tonight? Those weren’t a logical purchase. Last I heard, the sequins could come off in the wash.”
He stared at her hard. “And last I heard, they don’t.”
“Still, they cost twice as much as other jeans, which would have served the same purpose.”
If the purpose had been to keep his daughter clothed and warm. “I can see where you’re going with this,” he said. “You know darned well that I gave in and bought those jeans so Kelsey would feel good about herself.”
“And about you.”
“In part, yeah, I guess.”
“So it was about feeling, Mark. And that comes from the heart.”
“I still made a conscious choice—weighing both sides, I chose to make a financially illogical purchase for other gain.”
“And that’s a prime example of living fully,” she said, sitting forward as her voice took on new energy. “Barbie let her emotions rule her. You let yourself be ruled by logic. In an ideal life, neither one rules but you use both.”
The woman was an idealist, pure and simple. And in an ideal life his love for Barbie would have been enough to guide him, not blind him.
“So how do you explain the fact that as much as Barbie loved Kelsey, she didn’t even try to see her, let alone get partial custody of her?”
“You had an uncontested divorce?”
“Completely. She wanted out that badly. I gave her the things she wanted, her clothes, jewelry, half the bank account, and she left me the house, the child and most of the furniture.”
“She probably knew, with her drug addiction, that she’d never be granted custody of Kelsey.”
“No one knew about her drug addiction. Not the courts. Not the lawyers. I told her that if she got counseling, got cleaned up, I wouldn’t make an issue of it if she wanted to see Kelsey. I wasn’t out to get her. I wanted to help her. And I wanted to help my daughter, too. Kelsey adored Barbie. She needed her.”
“She needs you, too, Mark,” Meredith said, leaning forward. The scoop neck of her sweater fell open and Mark looked away. “Kelsey needs all of you, not just your head.”
“My daughter needs me to use my head to make the best decisions possible regarding anything that affects her life,” he said, keeping his gaze steadily on Meredith’s. “Thanks to you, I’ve met a wonderful woman. I’m attracted to her. I love her. And because she’s the exact opposite of Barbie, she’s perfect for both Kelsey and me. Where Barbie would react, cry, scream and run, Susan will think. I’ve never even heard her raise her voice.”