Meredith couldn’t listen to that. “Of course he is. Any fool could see that he adored you….”
“When we made love, he had someone else on his mind, too.”
Meredith’s nerves weakened with panic and her chest filled with guilt.
No. Absolutely not.
“Who?”
“I didn’t ask.”
“Then how do you know…?”
“I did ask that much.”
“Why?”
“Because I wasn’t thinking about him, either.”
Her heart was beating faster than it should be. “Who were you thinking about?” she asked, at the same time wondering how anyone could be in the middle of making love with Mark Shepherd and have any ability to think at all.
“Bud.”
Her breathing slowed. “Oh, Suze, that’s natural. Mark’s the first.”
“Like I said, he wasn’t thinking about me, either, Mer.”
“So, he was married a long time, too. Besides, guys’ minds wander, don’t they? They fantasize a lot more than we do.”
Susan laughed. “I don’t know about that.”
“Yeah, me, neither,” Meredith admitted, grinning. But she sobered quickly. “I’m worried about you.”
“Me, too, a little.” Susan’s despondency worried her. “But I’ve learned an important lesson these past months.”
“What’s that?”
“I don’t want to live my life half-alive.”
“I love you, Suze.”
“I know. I love you, too.”
Meredith couldn’t hang up. “You sure about that?”
“Completely.”
“No matter what?”
“No matter what.”
The swirls on the ceiling were making her dizzy. Meredith closed her eyes. “I kissed him.”
An excruciating pause followed.
“When?”
“Last Saturday night. After that whole Kelsey episode.” When visions of Mark’s eyes, his mouth coming closer swam behind her eyelids, Meredith opened them. Getting dizzy staring at the ceiling was better.