No. Absolutely not!
But this was Susan. Demanding honesty. “If things were different, maybe.”
“That’s what I thought,” Susan said. “And you know what else? I’d bet a year’s salary that he feels the same way.”
“You would?”
Susan wasn’t empathetic. There was no reason to believe her.
“Yeah. I suspect that’s part of the reason he’s so mad at you all the time. You wouldn’t be able to drive him crazy, if you didn’t also attract him like crazy. You know how these things work, Mer. For every up there’s a down. Where there’s love, there’s hate. Where there’s joy, there’s sadness. The opposites define each other.”
Susan was making too much sense. Scaring her.
“I’m too intense for him,” she said softly. It was something she’d known for a long time—part of the reason she couldn’t ever love Mark Shepherd. “Mark’s marriage was fraught with conflict because of his wife’s intensity. He certainly isn’t going to trust his heart to another emotional woman.”
“But you use your emotions, Meredith. They don’t completely control you the way they controlled Barbie. She wasn’t healthy.”
“Mark doesn’t believe in my gift.” And there was the final reason she could never allow herself to consider any kind of committed relationship with Mark Shepherd, no matter what her heart and her body felt. She couldn’t risk being left at the altar a second time.
The first time had almost destroyed her.
“There’s no way around that one,” Susan agreed. “He’s just got to come around.”
But Meredith k
new he wouldn’t.
KELSEY WAS JUST GETTING ready to slip through the fence on Friday, when she heard her name being called. Josie had already rounded the corner so she knew it wasn’t her.
Turning slowly, afraid it might be the police, she just about started to cry with relief when she saw that it was Meredith.
“Hi,” she said, happy to see her friend, but worried, too, that her mom would think she wasn’t coming and leave without her.
“What’cha doing out here all alone?” Meredith asked. She had her denim bag today and was wearing it over her shoulder like she was on her way home.
“I’m waiting for Josie.” She hated the lie. Almost as much as the drugs. “She forgot something.”
Kenny said what they were doing was no big deal. Kelsey sure hoped he was right. More, she wished with all her might for a way out—a way to love her mother and have everything else be okay.
“Okay,” Meredith said, glancing around. Kelsey wanted to make sure that she couldn’t see her mom’s car through the bushes, but she was afraid that would make Meredith peer over there, too. “You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.” Another lie. If she had to keep telling them, she hoped she’d get a lot better at it. As good as Kenny. She wondered if he’d ever gotten so scared he almost wet his pants. “What’re you doing way out here?” she asked, trying to sound bored and normal.
“I was thinking about you…”
Kelsey froze, remembering Meredith’s secret powers. Josie promised her they weren’t true, but she’d never seen her teacher this far out in the field before and…
“And I saw you heading this way from the cafeteria door and followed you.”
Oh, good. No powers. Oh, bad. “Why?”
“I was worried about you.”
Kelsey tried her hardest to stand still and hope that Meredith wouldn’t wait for Josie to get back before she left. “How come?” Please, Mommy, don’t leave.
“I don’t know,” Meredith said, staring at her like Josie’s mom looked at Josie sometimes when Josie had a problem and she was trying to help. “But if you’re all right, then I guess I’ll go.”
“I am.” Kelsey nodded, relieved. Mom should still be there. She hoped. ’Course now she had to wait until Meredith was back at the school before she dared climb over the fence and slip through the bushes.