A Child's Wish

He was a part of her. Right for her.

Kissing her again and again, Mark left no space for doubts, fears, rationalizing.

He pressed his pelvis against hers and she reveled in his hardness, wanting to laugh, to cry, to strip off her clothes and be a part of him forever. Her whole body simmered with a desire so deep she knew she’d never recover. She was going to suffer the pangs of wanting him for the rest of her life.

And then she felt his butt beneath her hands. She’d wondered so many times what it would feel like. It was firm, muscled—and this was far too intimate. She was touching Mark Shepherd’s butt. Her boss’s butt.

Meredith pulled away. “I’m sorry,” she breathed heavily. “So sorry. I should never have done that.”

His eyes were only half-open, his breathing heavy, too. Somehow that made the situation worse. And better.

“I did it,” he said. “It’s not your fault.”

A far cry from the man who was constantly chastising her for misbehavior.

Shaking, Meredith turned, pushed the hair from her face, grabbed her bag. “Does it matter whose fault it is?” she asked, fear snaking through her, replacing the sultriness of desire. “We’re in trouble, Mark. We just broke the law.”

He chuckled, but didn’t look any happier than she was. “We didn’t break the law.”

“We broke policy!” She strode to the door and back, her hands around her middle. “How can I stand up there in front of those people in eleven days and convince them that I’m not guilty of moral turpitude, while I’m lying to them?”

“Hey.” He grabbed her elbows, keeping distance between them as he stopped her. “Slow down, Meredith.” He just stood there, holding on to her until she glanced up at him.

“It’s okay,” he said.

She searched his eyes for answers she didn’t have. And wasn’t sure he had, either.

“Policy states that we cannot be involved in a sexual relationship. We are not. One kiss is not a relationship.”

“That was the second time.”

“A sexual relationship requires a lot more than kissing, Ms. Foster.”

He was right about that. “But we keep doing it and…”

“We won’t.”

“We said that last time and—”

With a finger to her lips, he said, “Meredith, it doesn’t mean anything.”

He wasn’t attracted to her. Why had she thought any differently? This was Mark. She drove him crazy. Pissed him off more often than not.

“It’s just because we know we can’t,” he continued. “It’s human nature, you know. You always want what you can’t have and then the minute you have it, you don’t want it anymore.”

He didn’t want her. Good. That was as it had to be. Anything else was insanity—and she was not in a position to appear anything but perfectly sane.

“You think that’s what it is?” she asked. Please God, let that be all. I don’t want him. I just want what I can’t have. I can live with that. Recover.

“It’s what it has to be.”

“So we’re safe,” she said, needing to pull away from him so she could start getting over him. “I won’t be lying when I tell the board that I’ve done nothing that contravenes policy.”

“You won’t be lying.”

Meredith nodded. Tried to smile. And left.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN