“Wait.” Though it sent shards of pain through her stomach, Meredith held back, stayed sitting on the couch. “We have to think.”
Mark laughed, the sound completely without humor. “Woman, you are going to drive me to the loony bin,” he said. “You’re the one who’s always saying listen to your heart and now you want to think?”
“Living authentically requires both,” she whispered, trying to find her voice—both inside and out. “You’re only going to find the way to your own happiness if you use both. If you listen to your heart, know what’
s there, and then apply reason, your decisions will keep you on course for true peace and joy.”
“I don’t know about you,” he sighed, “but I was feeling pretty joyful before you started using your head.”
Meredith’s breasts throbbed. “Me, too.”
He dropped back down beside her, finishing off his wine before setting the glass back on the table. “So what’s this about?”
His patience had returned. And that was the moment that Meredith knew she was completely, irrevocably, in love with him.
“I can’t go to your room with you, make love with you and then walk away.”
He brushed her cheek. “Who’s asking you to?”
“The issues are still there, Mark. Not the job, since I’m gone in a few short weeks, but the rest of it….”
“There’s something I need to talk to you about.”
“What?”
“First, we’re going to appeal the board’s decision,” he said, repeating what she vaguely remembered him mentioning the other night. “Policy allows you a trial in the district court before an unbiased jury and you’ll stand a much better chance.”
“Then the job…”
“And that brings me to the second thing. Chris Blakely over at Harris Junior High is retiring. I’ve been offered his job. With all that’s been going on with Kelsey, I was waiting for a chance to talk it over with you.”
“Is that what the superintendent wanted to see you about?”
He nodded.
“And you took the job?”
“Not yet.” His gaze was forthright as he turned to her. “The initial offer was somewhat motivated by an attempt to keep me away from your hearing. I couldn’t agree to that. Nor could I allow them to make a deal with me before they knew how I was going to behave at that hearing. And because I didn’t know myself, I couldn’t make any promises.”
“And since?”
“I heard from Daniels again today. The offer stands, but I didn’t want to take the job without speaking with you first.”
As though she should have some say in his life’s plans. Pulse increasing again, Meredith reminded herself to stop jumping off cliffs and live life calmly.
“I’m intense, Mark.” She laid it right out there. “I’m always going to be intense. I like my intensity. Most of the time.” She really did. Saving Kelsey had solidified a lifelong purpose that she was committed to pursuing. “It’s my gift. It helps me to do what I do.”
“I know.”
“You don’t.”
“I…”
“You can’t spend your whole life waiting for me to get carried away, to lose control like Barbie did.”
“I…”
“And worrying that the emotions might someday be too much for me. Because I can tell you right now, they might. Look at the other night with Kelsey…”