Her Secret Life

It was an employee from the computer shop, checking with him about a software program that had been recently installed. Michael had the answer in less than a minute, asking the woman to close the door on her way out.

With a respectful nod to Kacey, the woman did as asked.

In the immediate silence that followed, Kacey felt awkward. It was a first. She didn’t like it.

At all.

* * *

MICHAEL WAS NOT happy about the tension building inside him. More and more, it was happening when he was with Kacey. You’d think he’d want to see less of her because of it. Instead, he was drawn to her more.

Like he was some kind of masochist.

So he would give her the unvarnished truth, thinking it would get them back on easy footing. They could then go back and focus on her.

“Susan turned me down,” he said baldly, the first words between them since the interruption a full minute before.

“She what?”

Kacey’s shock was heartening. And sweet.

And it didn’t change anything. Not the facts of his life.

“When I asked Susan to marry me, she said no. She said that she’d tried as hard as she could, but she just didn’t feel a sexual attraction for me anymore. We’d been through enough surgeries to know that this was what we were going to be left with...” He pointed to his jaw. “Other than the swelling and discoloration that would fade.”

“I don’t believe that your body ceased to be a turn-on simply because your jaw was changed,” Kacey said. She hugg

ed her shapely legs to her, resting her feet on the second chair the way she’d been doing earlier. A way that was driving him a tiny bit crazy. Making him think about what they’d feel like wrapped around him.

He wished he had a glass of ice water to dump over his lap.

“She said she had very strong feelings for me, but she’d realized that they were compassion. Sympathy. Not attraction.”

“Then there was something wrong with her.” Kacey’s bold tone, the flash in her eyes, made him smile.

But, again, it didn’t change anything. “No, she was normal, Kace. And honest. For which I was very thankful. We’ve remained friends, actually. She sends me clients now and then.”

“She’s here? In Santa Raquel?”

Shaking his head, he stood up. He wasn’t sure where he was going or what he was going to do when he got there, but he couldn’t just keep sitting across from her, trying not to notice the delicate hands clasped around those shins. “She’s in Maryland,” he said, leaning his thigh against the edge of the scarred table.

Kacey glanced up at him. “So...that was one woman. Who had her own issues. Or maybe she wasn’t really attracted to you from the beginning for some reason. Maybe she prefers women...”

“She has a husband and a couple of kids.”

“Still doesn’t mean...” Kacey broke off. “So, since then?”

He’d thought the one story alone would get him off the hook. But if she needed more...

“I’ve asked out several women in the past eight years,” he said. “Some have accepted. Out of pity or compassion, I expect. Most politely decline. About two years ago, I quit trying.”

“You expect me to believe you’ve decided to remain celibate...and alone...for the rest of your life? Because of a damned scar?”

God, she was good for him. He was grinning again in the midst of talking about one of the most emotionally painful experiences of his life. “No,” he said. “I decided that when the right woman came along, she’d ask me out.”

“You’re waiting to be asked out.” It was more of a statement then a question.

“I’m not waiting,” he clarified. “I just decided that I wasn’t going to date again unless I was asked.”