Husband by Choice

She’d promised to continue investigating from her end, though she was treading carefully until she found out how the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department viewed Steve Smith—as one of their own that they would protect, or as one who’d betrayed them all by making a mockery of the badge.

From what she’d been able to determine so far, it was the former.

“What about that list of contacts I gave you?” he asked her while Caleb sat on the living room floor engrossed in a kids’ show on TV. He and Meri didn’t let the television babysit Caleb. But Meri had walked out on them and now he had to make do the best he could.

Ashamed of the thought he moved a little closer to the front door, while still keeping his young son in sight.

“Dead ends.”

Chantel was doing what she could. So was he.

And so, he was certain, was Meri.

It would all work out. They were going to be fine.

“I’ll stay on this, Max,” she told him. “Between the two of us we’ve spoken with anyone she had contact with recently. I’ll continue making calls.”

“Thank you.” But... “Something made her run.”

“I agree. I’m just not convinced it was the dangerous threat you assume it was. She might just be a runner, Max.” Chantel’s voice was soft. “You married a woman with serious issues. They aren’t her fault. I’m not saying they are. Based on the little bit we’ve been able to put together this weekend— her aloneness in the world, her marriage to an allegedly abusive detective from LVMPD, a man who is now a private investigator and has hunted her down on four different occasions—she couldn’t help but have issues. Some women, when they start to feel emotionally pressured, or to feel as if they’re going to fail, run. It’s their way of avoiding the pain of disappointing those they love.”

He wanted to push her out the door and close it behind her. Permanently. “You’re saying they’re motivated by their fear of retribution to get out before they disappoint,” he guessed, because the rational part of him knew there was some truth to her statement.

Just not with Meri. She’d never be afraid of him.

“Sometimes. Or maybe it’s like she said, leaving Caleb at day care was too much for her. You said that she’d fought you on that issue, that the amount of time she left him each week was getting less and less. And she knew you weren’t going to allow her to get away with it.”

This wasn’t about their son’s day care. He and Meri had talked about that issue. And he gave in to her whenever she was at the point of panic.

Because he really did understand.

Just as she understood that he had a bit of a sensitivity where losing his wife was concerned. She wouldn’t just up and leave him.

“If your relationship was exactly as you say it was, if Meri is all you believe her to be, then why would anything make her run?” The question came quietly, but also with grave seriousness. Chantel, a couple of inches shorter than he was, somehow made it difficult for him to look away. “If she trusts you as much as you think she does, why didn’t she come to you with whatever was bothering her? Why not talk to you about it before she took off?”

“Because Steve wouldn’t let her,” he said, engulfed with tension anew. “It’s what I’ve been telling you for three and a half days. He was there even though you didn’t see him on the tape. He’s got her, Chantel. I’m certain of it. For the reasons you just stated.”

And what if Meri wasn’t running because of fear for her own life? What if another part of the letter she’d written was the truth? The part about protecting Caleb? What if she was somehow protecting her son from Steve Smith?

It didn’t really make sense. She’d call the police if that was case. She knew he had an “in” here, just like Steve used to have in Las Vegas.

But what if Meri was in the grip of irrational fear, if she wasn’t being logical? Then there might be truth to the idea that she believed she had to run to protect them. “We have to find him.”

The brown eyes gazing up at him shadowed, and Chantel grasped his arm, holding on tight. “We will, Max. Even though I’m not sure you’re right about Steve, or Meri’s reasons for leaving, your conviction makes me think you might be. I’m going to keep looking for him. I’m going to find her. For you. I’m not going to desert you. I promise.”

He nodded. And, choked up with too much emotion for one calm guy to handle, held on a little too long when she leaned in and hugged him goodbye.

* * *

DAY FOUR.

I have the bungalow to myself tonight. They’re having Saturday night at the movies up at the main building and both Carly and Latoya went. They wanted me to go with them. I just couldn’t. I can’t be a part of their temporary family unit. I have a family.

Whether we ever see each other again, whether Max would ever forgive me for leaving like I did, with no warning, whether I’m successful in my attempt to have the threat of Steve permanently gone from my life or not, able to return to Max and Caleb or not, they are and will always be my family.

Jenna stopped writing, read the words on the page. And stared at the wall in front of her desk. On it hung a picture of an elegant, old-fashioned boudoir—a woman’s place with upholstered eyelet furniture and soft roses in a vase.

And it occurred to her that she liked her room. Felt safe there. And couldn’t remember a time when she’d really felt safe.