Husband by Choice

But Caleb had no interest in the sea bark he’d just unearthed from the sand. The boy was staring across the beach. “Mama!” he said. Not as though he was lonely. Or asking for her.

But as though he saw her there.

Following his son’s gaze, Max saw a big group of people walking together as they crossed from the parking lot to the beach. A family reunion of some kind? Maybe a church group?

But he didn’t see any sign of Meri. Still.... “Mama!” Caleb called again, scrambling to his feet to charge off in the direction he’d been looking as fast as his chubby little legs could carry him in the sand.

On his feet in seconds, Max was already at a run as he settled Caleb on his hip, holding the boy with both arms. “Where, buddy? Where did you see Mama?”

“Mama!” Caleb’s call turned into a cry. “Mama!” he screamed.

They’d reached the edge of the beach and were approaching the bushes that separated the sand from the sidewalk.

“Mama!” Caleb cried again, tears in his voice now. He hitched himself up and down on Max’s hip as if he was riding on a horse, kicking Max in the groin as he did so. “Ma

ma!”

They rounded the corner to the parking lot. A couple was exiting their car. A mom was strapping a baby into the infant seat in her van.

There was no sign of Meri. Or even anyone with her height and build.

“Mama gone,” Caleb said and started to cry. “Mama gone.”

Not even the allure of French fries could console the little boy as Max drove home, no closer to having any answers or insights into his wife’s disappearance.

CHAPTER TEN

DAY FIVE.

I saw Caleb today. After standing around in the parking lot for an ungodly length of time, the reunion organizers finally decided everyone had arrived and moved the group toward the beach.

I took a couple of steps and there he was, playing in the sand with his father.

He saw me, too.

He stood up. Ran toward me. Oh, God, I almost lost it. Almost ran to him.

But his father picked him up and I slipped away before Max spotted me. I can’t think about my husband, about how much I am hurting him. I won’t have the strength to carry on if I let myself dwell on Max.

He’s a man who shoulders the cares of all those around him. He’s the calm in the storm. Reason in the face of drama and fear. He’s loyal and kind and honest.

And he has a heart that is as vulnerable as mine. Sometimes I think more so because mine has been hardening since I was twelve. His hurts are far newer.

I know how sensitive he is about losing his wife. I know how close he came to not asking me to marry him for fear that he’d lose me, too, like he lost Jill. And, for now, I’ve made his worst nightmare come true. I’ve left him.

But it’s the only way we’ll ever have a chance of being happy together. If I ever get back to him. If he’ll be willing to take me back if I make it out of this alive.

Getting Steve out of my life is the only way Max will ever be able to live without the constant threat of losing me. He doesn’t understand Steve. He doesn’t want to believe that we’re in danger. I know differently.

If I don’t stand up to Steve, he will return again and again. And someday he’ll kill me. And maybe them first just to make me suffer for choosing them over him. Which is why I had to go. So he’d see that I didn’t choose them, either.

Jenna stopped, staring at the wall in front of her. Her hands trembled and she drew in shaky breaths. She should never have left the Stand that day. It had been too soon.

She wasn’t ready.

Thankfully her housemates had been out when she’d returned a little over an hour before. She’d avoided the sidewalks that meandered through the property and walked between buildings to get to their bungalow and then come straight to her room.

They’d be expecting her to have dinner with them, though. They’d raided the shelter’s pantry together the evening before, choosing what they needed to prepare a Sunday dinner together. Each of them had chosen a favorite recipe. Her potato casserole, Carly’s parmesan chicken breasts, and Latoya’s dirty pudding, minus the gummy candies because they couldn’t find any.