Husband by Choice

His chest caved. “What?”

r /> “The house isn’t Smith’s, Max. The owner just got home. It’s a guy from LA who got divorced a couple of years ago and comes up here to use his metal detector on the beach. The business, Pepper, Inc., was a venture he and his wife started together. They spent their weekends up here in that little house experimenting with making different foods out of peppers. Pepper jelly, etcetera. The business went under before it took off because of the divorce.”

“So we have nothing?” He’d spoken louder than he’d intended. And knocked his hand against the counter. Over and over. What was he going to do? How was he going to find Meri now?

“We have an APB out for her, Max. And they’re going to run his photo on the evening news. Hers, too, if you’ll allow it.”

He’d given a photo of Meri to Chantel, who’d given it to Wayne in the very beginning.

“Of course I’ll allow it,” he said. Meri needed all the help he could give her. And the evening news was an hour away. That gave him sixty minutes to call his folks and anyone else he could think of who would be traumatized to see the news on TV.

“In the meantime, we need you there, in case she shows up. Keep your phone charged. Your computer on. We don’t know how she might try to contact you.”

Or if she’d contact him. He could hear the doubt in Chantel’s voice.

“And I’ll be out with Bailey, canvasing every beach neighborhood we can find for any sign of a green car, or any other distinguishing characteristics. We’re checking on more of the homes purchased in the last four years and have others on that task, as well. We’re going to find her, Max. I promise you.”

“We don’t know for certain that she’s with him.” He had to put it out there. To remind everyone not to assume the worst. Not to write her off yet. “Meri’s resourceful and damned good at keeping herself safe.”

He wasn’t sure if the reminder was for her or for him. But he took it to heart.

And kept it there while he made some very difficult phone calls.

* * *

MEREDITH HAD TO get Steve to talk to her. Had to take him back to the boy who’d wet his bed. She had to be methodical. Cruel.

A vision of Max came to her mind. His eyes filled with that hint of moisture they took on whenever he was emotionally aroused. He’d be devastated by her death.

She couldn’t kid herself into thinking otherwise.

And looking through the bottom cupboards of that kitchen, reconnecting with things she’d forgotten, things she’d loved, things she’d have gotten rid of given the chance, an old colander, a loaf pan that had made perfect bread, she had to be honest about something else.

This might be it. She might be reaching the end of her life. And she couldn’t go lying to herself.

She’d left Max because when she’d received Steve’s note, she’d known Max would go to his cop friends and put them all in danger. But she’d also secretly feared that he’d leave her. He’d been so adamant that he couldn’t go through losing a second wife.

She’d had her issues. He’d had his.

A very weak part of her had feared that when he found out that Steve wasn’t a thing of her past, but a very real threat in their present, he’d have lost it. Freaked out about losing her. About the dangers.

And he’d have left her.

So she’d left him first. To protect him from having to face the threat of Steve in his life. And to protect Caleb.

But in a sense, it was to protect her, too. She’d known, as soon as she knew Steve was back, that she was going to lose Max one way or the other.

And somehow she’d known she’d never survive him leaving her. She had to be the one who left.

She hadn’t expected it to be that day two and a half weeks ago after taking Caleb to day care. But she’d known she was living on borrowed time.

Subconsciously, she’d been ready.

She heard Steve behind her, going into the bathroom. Heard him relieving himself. With the door open.

He’d been a big one on spouses not closing doors between them. Ever. He’d said intimacy was important and shouldn’t be given to anyone but a spouse. And at the same time, no intimacy should ever be withheld from a spouse....

Meredith hadn’t agreed. Until the time he’d broken down the door that she’d locked behind herself.