Just Around the Corner

She could lose her baby.

She couldn’t bear the thought.

With shaking hands she carefully changed her underwear, then pulled on the jeans she’d been changing into after work. She reached for the soap she kept under her sink for hand-washables. Generally she used it for her panty hose.

When she’d first found out she was pregnant, she hadn’t thought it was good news. She was single. With no plans of ever not being that way. She was a college professor, had to conform to a certain moral code. Her life was mapped out just the way she wanted it. And the map didn’t include a baby.

And yet…the baby had become real to her. Real and precious. And her map had been redrawn.

After a quick call to her doctor’s office, Phyllis had a stern talk with herself, which only partially worked. The doctor had asked a couple of questions and then assured Phyllis she had nothing to worry about. She was to take it easy, watch out for symptoms, but Dr. Mac thought the day’s spotting was just residual from earlier in the week.

She’d examined Phyllis after the initial incident and found everything exactly as it should be. Some women had a bit of spotting in the early months of pregnancy, she’d explained. When it was as little as Phyllis was experiencing, it was usually no big deal. Before she hung up, she told Phyllis the signs to watch for, just in case.

Usually no big deal. Not always no big deal. Which meant that at some time or other, for some woman or other, it was a big deal. And what if she started seeing the signs Dr. Mac had described? What if the bleeding got worse?

Stop it. She was letting her mind run away with her. Being ridiculous. She knew better than this. She needed to distract herself, think about something else until the panic subsided and she was her rational self again.

Matt. She had to call Matt.

Portable phone to her ear, it dawned on her that, although she’d only phoned him once before, she knew his number by heart. He might be on her list of support people at the moment—the bottom of her list—but she didn’t need to know his number. She’d have to put it out of her mind. Forget it.

There was really no reason to call him. Nothing was wrong. And she had no heavy lifting to be done.

This baby was her responsibility. Not his.

She might as well hang up.

“Sheffield.”

He was still in his office. She had the feeling he spent a lot of time there.

“I, uh, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called.”

“Phyllis? Something wrong?” His voice had sharpened.

“No.” She felt like an idiot. “I really am sorry. I was about to hang up when you answered.”

“Why?”

“Because I was just being weak and stupid for a moment there, but I’m fine now. It was totally unlike me and won’t happen again. I can’t believe I did it. I don’t even want to talk to you. Put it down to hormones and forget it ever happened. See ya.” The words flew out in a rush, and when she finished that last sentence and was afraid of what else might come out, Phyllis pushed the Off button on the phone.

Holding her breath, she waited a couple of seconds to see if he was going t

o call back and ask who or what had taken possession of the rational woman he knew. When he’d had plenty of time to look up her number and the phone didn’t ring, she let out a sigh of relief and finished getting dressed. The ribbed gray sweater matched the stitching on her jeans.

Catching a glimpse of herself in her dresser mirror, Phyllis was surprised to see her belly protruding a little. Dr. Mac had apparently seen signs of the baby, but Phyllis hadn’t really been able to tell. She was just under twelve weeks along.

She looked more closely, feeling comforted when she could definitely detect a thickening shape she’d never seen before. Fat was soft and ugly. Phyllis’s belly, while still perfectly normal to anyone who wasn’t studying it, was firm and ever so slightly rounded.

Six weeks ago she’d been lamenting the fact that this pregnancy was going to make her put on the weight she’d painstakingly lost over the past year. Suddenly she couldn’t wait.

What on earth was happening to her?

Shaking her head, Phyllis turned off her bedroom light and decided to sort through the mail she’d left on the table in the foyer. She should probably pay bills that night. And maybe start looking more seriously at her long-term financial plans.

She wasn’t sure she’d be able to sit still and concentrate. Nervous energy sped through her, making her feel as though she’d consumed a liter of soda loaded with caffeine. She wasn’t going to start hemorrhaging. Logically she knew that. She trusted Dr. Mac.

She’d had an exam two days before.