Just Around the Corner

“Maybe at first, but those who just walk away from it don’t matter, and those who pick it up and read it find out almost immediately that a bad cover can hide a gem.”

The muscles in his jaw tightened again. The look in those dark eyes intensified.

“A kid looks to his parents for an example. It’s an undeniable and, I think, unchangeable fact. Doesn’t matter that the example’s rotten, doesn’t even matter that the kid knows it’s rotten, it’s still his parent. The person who cares for him, provides for him. The person whose blood runs in his veins.”

She couldn’t argue with that. He was absolutely right.

“And when a kid’s surrounded by bad examples, he’s more apt to believe himself capable of such things.” His eyes were trained somewhere in the middle of the room, but they were vacant. He spoke in a monotone.

Phyllis stayed perfectly still. Waiting for whatever was to come.

“Even if he determines, because of those examples, to go the opposite way, the values he grew up with are second nature to him. They feel like part of him. Those feelings again guide him to the assumption that he’s capable of the bad stuff, too. More capable than someone who grew up in TV-land. And then, one day, bad things start to happen, almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe, because he believes he can’t help it, he makes a bad choice or two. And once that kid’s in any trouble at all, the judging begins. No one’s surprised. He is, after all, the son of a convict. His family is rotten. Everyone knows it. They feel sorry for him, but don’t doubt his rottenness. They shake their heads and think it’s sad the poor kid never had a chance—and maybe wonder how it took him so long to get to this point. And they ask themselves—sometimes loud enough for the kid to hear—what business a man like his father had had fathering children in the first place.”

With the help of much practice, Phyllis schooled her face into impassivity, but she cringed inside as Matt’s words fell unemotionally between them. Cruel remarks could do so much damage to a psyche. Especially when spoken by adults and overheard by children.

“So what if one of the kid’s parents is an ex-con, but the kid’s raised in a home with good values with none of the bad examples?”

Matt blinked, looked at her almost as though he’d just realized she was there. “The truth will still come out eventually,” he said. “And with it, the reputation.” He’d reconnected with himself. There was emotion in his voice again. Defeat. Resignation.

There was also some truth to his words. Some.

“You’re a good man, Matt Sheffield,” Phyllis said. Her voice might be soft, but it was filled with conviction. “This isn’t the time for you to be a father, we’ve already decided that, but please don’t think you shouldn’t ever be one.”

“It’s not up for discussion.” He opened the door again.

“Fine, we won’t discuss it,” Phyllis said, joining him at the door, holding it as he left the house. “But you’d make a wonderful father, Matt,” she said behind him.

He stopped cold, didn’t turn around.

“You’ve got the most reliable conscience of anyone I’ve ever met. What’s more, you listen to it. And live by it.”

He stood where he was for a few more seconds and then strode off into the darkness.

He didn’t say goodbye.

PHYLLIS WAS READY and waiting for Sophie the next morning. She’d just gotten off the phone with Tory. Her friend was home, up and around, happier than Phyllis had ever heard her. Apparently Phyllis Christine was the most perfect baby ever to arrive on this earth. Phyllis couldn’t wait to go over and see her…see them both.

She’d left the door to her office open and Sophie knocked as she came through. The girl, frighteningly thin, was wearing a pair of stretchy beige hip-huggers and a long gray sweater that showed just how little there was to her stomach and thighs. Her blond hair was fashionably styled but didn’t have any luster. Her makeup was impeccable.

She was a beautiful girl.

Sophie sat in the chair at the side of Phyllis’s desk. Crossing her legs, a little self-conscious about her own recent weight gain, Phyllis turned her chair so she was facing the girl diagonally.

“I’m glad you could come in.” Phyllis tried to meet the girls’ eyes, to let her know she meant the words.

Sophie was looking around the room. She shrugged. “Matt asked me to.”

Matt? Phyllis was a little surprised, considering how reserved he was, that Matt’s relationship with his students seemed so casual.

The girl was still looking around, her eyes not landing anywhere for long.

“You have anything you’d like to talk about?”

Her brows raised, lower lip pouting just a bit, Sophie shook her head. “No. I’m just here because Matt asked me to come.”

Yes. She’d already said that.

“Mind if I talk a bit, then?”