Becca's Baby

“We already decided to tile it, and don’t do this. You don’t want to know.”

“Yeah.” Sari’s eyes filled. “I do. I want to help if I can.”

The tears in her sister’s eyes were Becca’s undoing. “Oh, Sari, it’s all such a mess. Please just let me take care of things. Let me get…this out of my life.”

Her own words made her cry again. How in hell was she ever going to do it?

“What are you taking care of, Bec?”

Becca sighed, shaking. “I’m pregnant.”

Sari’s eyes lit up, and the sadness that had become part of her was, for a moment, completely erased.

“Wait, I’m—” Becca stopped, unable to continue. Unable to kill that happiness in her sister’s eyes. The same happiness that, when wiped out of Will’s eyes, had been replaced with emptiness.

Concern—and fear—lining her face, Sari leaned forward and placed her hands just above Becca’s lap. “There’s something wrong with the baby, isn’t there?”

“I don’t know,” Becca shook her head. Attempted a smile. “It’s too early to be sure. So far, they think it’s okay, but…”

“Then what—”

“I can’t have it, Sari! I have to terminate the pregnancy.”

“Have an abortion?”

Becca didn’t know who’d been more horrified, Sari or Will. She only knew she’d never felt so isolated in her entire life. She didn’t bother answering her sister’s question. There was no need. And no point, either.

“Why?” Sari asked.

For the third time Becca listed all the reasons. Her age. The risk of birth defects. Her high blood pressure. The potential hormonal problems. The other health issues. After an entire week of hearing them in her mind every waking moment of every day, they were almost like old friends—or bitter enemies. They’d become as familiar as her own name. She hated them, these words, these reasons.

“You said you went to two different places, one in Phoenix and one in Tucson,” Sari said when Becca fell silent. “I hope that means you got a second opinion.”

Nodding, Becca tried to swallow the lump that was forming in her throat again. She had to be strong. Deal with this. Get through it so life could go on.

Somehow it was going to have to go on.

“And?”

“Dr. Anderson knows how hard Will and I tried to get pregnant. She’d never have the heart to tell me I couldn’t have this baby.”

“She would if she was certain your life or the life of your baby was in danger.”

“She said there were risks.”

“Insurmountable ones?”

Becca didn’t want to think about it. Couldn’t handle the hope. Or the fear.

“What did she say, Bec?”

“That she’d have to watch me closely, but there was a chance I could deliver a healthy baby.”

“What kind of chance?”

“She said it’s too early to tell for sure, but right now, other than my blood pressure, things look fine.”

“Is your blood pressure really high?” Sari was obviously worried. But she was handling this much better than Becca had expected.