“There’ll be time,” Becca said, wondering if she’d have to go with slacks for the duration. None of these dresses seemed right for a woman in her forties. But with temperatures reaching 120, a summer pregnancy was going to be bad enough—but wearing slacks would be suicide. “The kids aren’t out of school until the first week of June. They’re only going to have three weeks to put this thing together, so it’ll have to be basic, anyway. Besides, the scriptwriter can be there with the kids—like a work in progress. Betty’s write-up for the paper will be pretty comprehensive.”
Drifting over to another rack, Sari found a nondescript black dress that might do. “We should have all our research wrapped up by next week,” she said.
Becca nodded. She’d been thinking a lot about Samuel Montford these past few days. The first—and the fourth. Cassie, ex-wife of the current Sam, had been back in town for several years. Had made quite a name for herself in veterinary science…
“Mrs. Parsons! How are you?” Turning, Becca saw little Kaylee Holmes, the daughter of Karen and Dick Holmes, yet another couple Becca had graduated from high school with. The family had moved to Phoenix several years before.
Kaylee wasn’t so little anymore. “Kaylee!” she said, shocked to see the girl’s very distended stomach. “I don’t have to ask how you’ve been! I didn’t even know you were married.”
Kaylee grinned. “I’m not.”
“Oh.” Becca was a little nonplussed by Kaylee’s cheer. In her day an unwed pregnant woman would have been embarrassed by her condition, saddened by it—shamed, even. She wasn’t entirely sure which of the two worlds was better.
“So what are you doing here?” Kaylee rushed into the awkward silence. “Shopping for a gift for someone?”
“Yes,” Becca said in unison with Sari’s “No.”
Kaylee frowned in confusion. “You are or you aren’t?”
“Becca’s pregnant,” Sari chanted, her voice filled with all the pride and joy Becca should have been expressing. “She’s in the middle of her fourth month.”
“Ohhh.” Kaylee drew out the word, then began to move off toward another part of the store. “Well, I hope everything goes okay for you.”
“Yeah,” Becca called, turning back to her shopping, “you, too.” She hadn’t missed the fact that Kaylee hadn’t offered her congratulations. Only a doubtful wish that everything would be all right.
She tried to concentrate on the clothes in front of her, tried to find something appropriate for her age—but spent the next few minutes forcing herself not to cry.
“You okay?” Sari finally ventured to ask.
“No, I’m not okay,” Becca snapped, then burst into tears. “I’m a freak, Sari,” she said, hiding behind a tall rack of dresses while she made an effort to compose herself. “Look at these clothes. None of them are right for me, and you know why?” She didn’t wait for Sari to respond before continuing.
“Because I’m too old for this. These clothes are fashioned for kids Kaylee’s age. What in hell do I think I’m doing, pretending I belong here?”
“It—”
“Did you see the way she looked at me?” Becca interrupted her sister. “Like I was something gross?”
“She did not. She was just surprised,” Sari said.
“I changed Kaylee’s diapers at the day care!”
“Aunt Beth was pregnant with Joe when she was changing Suzie’s diapers.” Suzie was their second cousin on their mother’s side. Their aunt’s first grandchild.
“When it comes to pregnancy, my peers are kids, Sari. I have no business doing this. It’s like I’m an old lady trying to recapture my youth.” Becca just couldn’t get over the feeling that she was gatecrashing a party where she didn’t belong. And the fear that as soon as the fates spotted her, they’d kick her out. The fear that something would happen to her baby, that she’d miscarry, that the baby was never meant to be.
“You have every reason to do this, Rebecca Parsons,” Sari said, only lowering her voice when she noticed another shopper glancing in their direction.
“God gave you this baby, this little soul, to nurture and bring into the world. If He thinks you’re the right woman for the task, then that’s just how it is and you’d better straighten up and do your job.”
Becca wasn’t as certain of that as Sari. Her sister had turned to religion as a way to deal with her grief after Tanya was killed by the drunk driver two summers before. She saw God’s hand in everything as a result.
And yet, as Becca stood there fiddling with a hanger in an attempt not to look at her sister, she had to admit there was some truth to Sari’s words.
“You do think I belong here?” she asked softly, daring a peek over at Sari. “In this world of mothers and babies?”
Sari’s eyes were filled with tears—and love and happiness, too. “I’m sure of it,” she said, giving Becca’s hand a squeeze. “Now let’s go find you some decent clothes so Junior isn’t humiliated by an old hag of a mother who’s running around naked.”
WILL LIKED her new clothes.