“Not if I choose the easy way out so I don’t have to deal with them.”
“But you didn’t!” Sari said. “You made the choice to have this baby.”
But would she have if it hadn’t been for Will? If she hadn’t known how much her choice was hurting him?
“And look what you do for Shelter Valley!” Sari said, her voice earnest. “You’re no coward, Bec. You stand up to Mayor Smith and you—”
“George Smith can’t hurt me,” Becca broke in
, shaking her head. “This town has always been my haven. And I’ve been wondering lately if Shelter Valley’s maybe too much of a haven for me,” she said slowly. “A safe haven…”
“What do you mean? There’s nothing wrong with living in a safe place.”
“There is when it keeps me safe from the trials and tribulations of the world.”
Which was exactly what Will had said.
“It’s safer than the big cities, that’s true,” Sari said, “but that doesn’t always keep terrible things from happening here.”
As they both knew. Tanya had been killed two miles from home.
“Besides,” Sari continued, laying her head back down, “living in a small town like this, a relatively safe, secure place, isn’t a bad decision. More of a smart one.”
Becca shook her head. “Not if you’re choosing to live here because you’re running away.”
Sari was quiet, the weight of her head on Becca’s lap a comfort.
“Loving Will has always been safe and easy, too,” Becca whispered. “But now it’s not, and I’m afraid to do that, too.”
“To love him?”
Becca’s throat tightened with the tears she was fighting. “Yeah,” she said, her voice quavering.
“He’s not sure about so many things. I really shocked him with wanting the abortion—and now I’m afraid to trust my heart to him, afraid I’ll do something else that will destroy his affection for me…”
Sari hugged Becca’s legs as Becca’s voice trailed off.
“I’m even…” Becca started and then stopped as tears got in the way again. “I’m even more afraid of losing him.”
The room was silent for a time, the air conditioner’s steady hum the only sound.
Becca’s hand stayed busy, smoothing Sari’s hair behind her ear. The motion was almost therapeutic.
“Lately things haven’t been getting better with us. We seem sort of…stalled, and I spend all my time thinking about where we went wrong. I can’t just keep waiting for him, Sari, knowing there’s a chance that when all is said and done, he’ll be gone.”
“Life doesn’t come with any guarantees, sis,” Sari said sadly.
“I know.” Will says that, too.
Both women were silent, comforting each other with their presence as the minutes passed.
“Bec?” Sari asked softly after a time.
“Yeah?”
“Will you do something with me?”
Sari sounded nervous, a little scared. Which scared Becca.