“You met my sister, Sari, the night of the Little League championships,” Becca said.
“She’s pregnant, too,” Phyllis said, remembering. Sari was as beautiful as Becca and giddy with happiness. Kind of hard not to be a little jealous of all the blessings these sisters shared. “I don’t know when I’ve ever seen anyone so animated.”
“Yeah,” Becca said. Her smile faded. “But two years ago you’d have met a different woman entirely. Sari lost her sixteen-year-old daughter in a car accident.”
“Oh, my gosh.” Phyllis’s stomach dropped. “I’m so sorry.”
“Me, too.” Becca’s eyes lowered to the table again and another imaginary speck. “The thing is, I was so busy tending to Sari, I never realized how much Tanya’s death was still affecting me. I’ve been terrified of losing anyone else I love.”
“It’s debilitating to realize that there are some things we just can’t control,” Phyllis offered, thinking suddenly of Christine. Her friend had never known the security of control. Had never known a day of peace.
“Will couldn’t forgive me for wanting the abortion.”
“For moral reasons?” Phyllis asked.
“I don’t think it’s that,” Becca said slowly. “At least, I don’t think so anymore.”
Phyllis heard the note of doubt.
“You don’t blame yourself for considering the idea, I hope.”
“I’m trying not to.”
“Becca, there are times when abortion may be the only choice. Certain extreme situations…”
Becca glanced up, her eyes filled with doubt. “I know that in my head, but in my heart…”
“I knew a girl once who’d been molested by her stepfather,” Phyllis said, thinking of Christine’s broken spirit as she’d told her story. Hoping that her friend was truly all right after this latest episode. Needing to see Christine. Angry that something else had happened to her and wishing she could find a way to ensure that Christine never had to suffer again.
“He was usually careful, but one time, when he was particularly drunk, he forgot. She got pregnant.”
The sound Becca uttered was heartfelt and desperate.
“She knew she couldn’t have that baby. Not only would it ruin her life, her reputation, get her kicked out of high school, not only would it tell her little sister what had been going on, but if she wasn’t capable of tending to her stepfather’s lusts, he’d turn to her younger sister. This girl had to protect her little sister at all costs.”
“Please tell me she had the abortion,” Becca said, holding her neck. “How could a teenage girl possibly be expected to bear the child of…of such an unholy union?”
“There wasn’t a legal clinic where the girl was living.”
“No.” Becca’s blue eyes were filled with empathetic pain.
“She found a quack who did it for her, but as a result, she’ll never be able to have more children.”
“How can life be so cruel?” Becca whispered.
Phyllis had asked herself the same thing many times since Christine had confided in her.
“I don’t know, Becca, but don’t you see? That’s why, when we’re given a blessing, we can’t look at the what-ifs.” Phyllis desperately needed to help her new friends find the happiness she felt so sure was waiting for them. “We just have to grab it with both hands and experience it completely for as long as we’re blessed with having it.”
Smiling through her tears, Becca asked, “Could you please tell that to my husband?”
“You don’t think he’s willing to be happy?” Phyllis had never had that impression.
“I do,” Becca said. “It’s just that when I was considering the abortion, it made him feel he didn’t know me at all. He was just so shocked. It made him start to question all kinds of things he’d never questioned before. It made me take a good long look at things, too.”
“Tough situations have a way of doing that to a person.”
“I’ve found my answers,” Becca said with such peace that Phyllis knew something had changed since the last time she’d seen her. “Now I just have to wait until Will finds his.” Becca paused. “And pray they’re the right ones.”