A Daughter's Trust

And on the drive home, he’d made himself face the truth. In some ways, Sue Bookman was Sheila all over again. A woman who needed her space. Who ran from close relationships. Like Sheila, she recognized her needs. Knew herself. But unlike Sheila, she’d been honest with him from the very start.

And maybe Sheila had thought he understood. Maybe in his overeagerness he’d missed her messages. Regardless, he’d been telling himself all day that he was just going to have to stay out of Sue’s bed. But a body come back to life didn’t care much about the future. It was just glad to be alive again.

As he drove back out to Sue’s Monday after work he had to wonder. What was it about him that attracted women who had to get away? First his mother. Then Sheila.

And now Sue.

HE WASN’T GOING TO MAKE a big deal of this. Rick’s hands were shaking anyway when he knocked on Sue’s door at five minutes before four. He’d seen Carrie a few times already.

He’d seen her.

But he hadn’t held her. Hadn’t so much as fed her a bottle or raised a spoon to her mouth.

Sue was dressed to go out, in pants, a matching black blouse and slip-on shoes, when she answered the door. Her hair was pulled back as usual.

He started to tell her she looked beautiful, but stopped himself. This visit was official. It was about Carrie now.

About Carrie’s future.

“Come on in.” Sue’s smile could have been delivered to a stranger on the street.

“Thanks.”

He’d been in the house several times. So why did he suddenly feel so awkward?

“She’s in here. In her swing.”

Rick felt as though he were entering the room for the first time. He recognized the furniture, the bassinet and toy basket. And it all felt completely new. His gaze went instantly to the baby girl looking around her with curiosity as she gently rocked back and forth in the swing.

His baby sister’s baby.

“I’d like to hold her,” he said. And then he looked around him. “Where’s Michael? And the twins?”

“Gone.”

“Gone?” Not again. “As in, we’ll never see them again?”

“That’s right.”

She didn’t even blink. Her lack of emotion was chilling.

Until he saw the way her hand was picking at the side of her pants. And Rick wondered, not for the first time, if it wasn’t so much that Sue was distant, as that she was lost. So far lost, she couldn’t find her way.

Had anyone ever tried to help her?

Sue stopped the swing. Lifting Carrie out, she gently handed the infant to him.

“Hey, sweetie,” he said softly as he took the little girl into his arms, smiling easily, when he’d been afraid he’d never get through the moment. “I’m your uncle Rick…” She settled into the crook of his arm as though she’d been born there. Gazed up at him. And smiled back.

RICK FED CARRIE. Sue kept herself busy in the kitchen. Mashing the chicken and ham and peas

and broccoli she’d bought at the grocery that afternoon before Joe’s call. She put some in the reusable jars she kept in the refrigerator, and the rest in containers for the freezer.

She did the dishes.

And kept an eye on everything that was happening over at the table.

“You’re a good girl, Carrie baby.” Rick’s soft tone brought tears to her eyes. “One more bite for Daddy?”