A Daughter's Trust

“Sue?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you hear anything I just said?”

“Yeah. You said there’s only one solution.”

“After that. I asked you to marry me.”

She sat still, knowing she’d probably heard him the first time around.

“In the first place, you’d be able to keep Carrie. Forever. She’d really be yours. And if we marry only for Carrie’s sake, it wouldn’t be the kind of all-in partnership you fear. Although, for obvious reasons, health and example to the kids being the most obvious, I’d require fidelity, but considering our inability to keep our hands off each other for more than a few days, I don’t see that as presenting much of a problem….”

Sue tried to concentrate on watching his lips move, instead of on processing the words coming out of them, as tension crawled up from her toes, through her legs, into her belly and continued to rise. And spread.

“We make a perfect team,” he was saying, “as evidenced by the way we handled Jake’s dad a couple of weeks ago. Not to mention Carrie. And then there was Camden, the shooter, and…”

He wasn’t saying all of this. He just wasn’t.

“We both love kids,” Rick continued. “Think of how much more you’d get done having a second set of hands around here to help out with them. And to hold you on the nights after they leave….” He licked his lips. They were full. And masculine at the same time. And the way they felt when he opened them against hers…

“Sue?”

“Yeah?”

“Say something.”

He was still just six inches away. Turned toward her. She could remove his loosened tie, unbutton his shirt from where she sat. Lay her head against his chest.

“I thought you understood,” she said. “I can’t help you make sure your mother doesn’t get Carrie.”

That’s all this was.

“I won’t be taking her from my mother,” he said. “I told you, I’ve already agreed that if I do get placement, my mother will be allowed full access to her, just like any other grandmother.”

Right. He had said that. And probably would do as he said. But still…

“I was clear with you from the start, Rick,” she said, her heart racing. “I can’t take on marriage, or full-time parenthood, either. I get claustrophobic just thinking about it.”

She needed a hot bath. Someplace she could relax. She needed him on the phone, telling her what to do in the bath. Taking her away…

He was asking something of her that she just couldn’t do. Under any circumstances. She had to hurt him.

And she loved him so much.

No!

Trembling, Sue promised herself she had not fallen in love with Rick Kraynick.

She wanted an aspirin. Soothing music.

“I know that’s what you said, and even what you believe, but look at you, Sue. You’re more of a full-time parent than anyone I’ve ever met. I’ve known you for weeks and in all that time you haven’t had one hour just for you.”

Yes, she had. In the tub.

“But don’t you see,” she said. “If I need time, have to get away, or even want to stop being a mother, all it would take is one phone call. My work’s important to the system, but there are many more just like me out there, able and wanting to do what I do.”

“Not according to Sonia. There’s a shortage of good foster parents, and only two others in the city who can do multiple babies full-time.”