A Daughter's Trust

He still couldn’t believe it. That this woman was his mother. But he was working on it.

“I’m okay with however this goes today. I…she’ll be fine with you,” he told her, and she smiled again. “You’ll just have to get used to having me hanging around the place, butting in….”

“Good morning!” Sonia breezed in, put down a folder, sat. Hands clasped on top of her desk, she made eye contact with each of them, a huge grin on her face. And when she turned to his mother, Rick knew he’d lost.

He barely heard the social worker’s spiel about policies and laws and regulations, trial placement and monitoring, for the disappointment crashing through him. A disappointment far worse than he’d expected. He’d told his mother that Carrie would be fine with her, and he believed it now. If something horrible happened and Nancy faltered, Rick would be there to pick up the pieces. As would the Franks. Nancy had something now that she’d never had before. A support system. And self-confidence. Things he couldn’t have understood when he was younger. Things he couldn’t have given her.

“After the sixth-month period, assuming all is well, the adoption is pretty much a given, and happens quickly. The judge will…”

Carrie would be fine. But he wished she could be his little girl. Live in his home. Wished he could be the one to carry her to bed each night, to hear her prayers and kiss her good-night. To see her frown over a math problem, vegetate in front of the television on a lazy day. Wished he could teach her how to play softball, and guard her against all the boys. Hear her giggle and watch her grow. Minute by minute.

Carrie. Not Hannah. Because she was his baby sister’s little girl. Because she was Carrie. An innocent baby whose smile made his world right.

And he wished Sue could be there with them. Mothering Carrie for the rest of her life.

He wished she was with him now.

“So, you’re sure?” Sonia was looking at Nancy.

“Absolutely positive. My son is an incredible father. A rare combination of nurturing and strength. And this is the best thing I, or anyone, could do for Carrie. No matter what pressures might come along, my son will stand up to them, and be there for Carrie. He’ll love her with everything he has. That’s my Ricky.” She smiled at him, tears in her eyes. And then she took his hand. “Just like he did for me.”

Glancing from his mother to Sonia, Rick asked, “What’s going on?”

“Your mother called me on Saturday,” the caseworker said.

“I had my chances, Ricky,” Nancy told him, without any bitterness in her voice. “I didn’t do so hot as a mother, so I’m going to try my hand at being the best damn grandmother a little girl could ever have.”

He stared at her. And then back at Sonia. “Are you saying…”

Her grin now as wide as her office, Sonia nodded and stood, holding out her hand to him. “You’re going to be a daddy, Mr. Kraynick. Congratulations!”

WHEN HER PHONE RANG on Monday morning Sue wasn’t prepared to see Rick’s number pop up. She hadn’t heard from him since she’d turned down his proposal on Wednesday. And he was supposed to be at work.

She picked up immediately. “Hi.” He’d be coming over in a matter of hours. Six—not that she was counting. To see Carrie.

He asked how Sue was. She didn’t tell him she’d been rehearsing the conversation she was going to have with him since he’d walked out of her house. She’d been too harsh. Too absolute. How did she know what the future would bring her? How it might change her? “I’m fine,” she said, but it wasn’t true. “How about you? How’s the shoulder?”

“A bit stiff, but I’m working on it.”

“Overworking it, most likely. They said it could take a couple of months or more to heal.”

“Or it could be fused within a couple of weeks,” he reminded her. “How are the kids? I’ve missed them.”

“They’re fine. I think they miss you, too. You should have seen them when I picked them up from Barb’s on Saturday. You’d think I’d left them for days instead of hours….”

“You took them to Barb’s?” Was that possessiveness she heard in his voice? Even a little bit?

“My uncle Adam had a stroke.”

“I…how is he?”

“He’s conscious. He can move. But I guess there might be some other things going on. Liver related. They were going to do tests this morning and then we’d know more.”

“I’m sorry.”

She was, too. For so many things.

“It could have been worse. We could have lost him. And I’ve had some time to visit with my folks. They stayed here last night.”