Infatuation

'Poor Ruth,' said Judith, amused. 'She must have been a drag to live with.'

'She was—I've felt terribly sorry for Cinderella's elder sisters ever since.' Ruth walked to the door with one tray and Judith followed with the other, smiling.

Baba was still lying on the lounger, the sunlight turning her hair to drifting clouds of gold, making her perfectly proportioned body shimmer; she was so totally relaxed that you felt her head must be quite empty.

'Food,' Ruth said decisively. Baba sat up and the children swarmed around the table complaining about the food.

'Ugh, rabbits' food,' groaned Stevie as he crammed his mouth, and his mother said sharply: 'Don't put so much in your mouth, you already look like a hamster.'

'Ruth told me about your engagement,' Judith said to Baba. 'I hope you'll be very happy.'

Baba gave her a glowing smile. 'Oh, thank you, Judith; you are sweet. What are you going to do now that you're back in London? Have you got another job yet?'

'I'm looking around,' Judith said evasively.

'Will you live with your grandmother?'

'She's far too independent, to want me around all day. I'm looking for a flat within easy reach of her house.' She picked up a small square of cheese and studied it wryly. 'Not much to ask, really—a good job and a flat.'

Baba laughed and said: 'You must come to our engagement party; Luke's in banking, too. We're getting engaged today, he's coming to pick me up at three and take me to choose a ring. Luke's planning a big party at the Savoy, there'll be masses of people there, I'll get Luke to introduce you to some useful peop

le in banking, you might be offered a new job.'

'Thank you,' said Judith with what she considered extreme restraint. Along with a number of other characteristics she had inherited her grandmother's prickly independence and dislike of being patronised or offered pity; she felt, in any case, that she was in no need of either from Baba. While she was in New York she had had plenty of boy-friends; she just hadn't felt she couldn't live without any of them. They were all nice, she enjoyed their company, but none of them had touched her heart. Several times she had thought briefly: this is it, this is him, but it never had been, it had only been a momentary impulse, a romantic glow brought on by moonlight, one glass of champagne too many or her own dreamy desire to be swept off her feet. The next second she would notice that his ears were too big or he only talked about profit and loss or that he was quite obviously the biggest bore in Manhattan, which explained why, looking like a younger version of Robert Redford, he was still running around loose. Judith had a private theory that when love did come it would be because in spite of all such drawbacks the guy in question would be for some reason totally irresistible and someone you could happily face at breakfast for thirty years. Until such a man appeared on the horizon she refused to compromise or accept anything less.

Baba studied her thoughtfully. 'Luke knows simply everybody, I'll have a word with him about you.'

'Please don't,' Judith said tersely; remembering all too vividly the last time she had met him.

'It's no bother.' Baba gave her a ravishing smile, band to her irritation.

Judith decided not to get into a long wrangle about a, no doubt Baba would soon find out that the formidable Luke Doulton, however crazy about her at the moment, was not going to take on unknown females just to please her. He would probably say: tell this friend to get in touch with me. Then Judith could safely ignore the whole thing. One thing was certain—no way was she going to allow herself to be put in such an invidious position, nobody would ever believe she had any ability if her job was handed to her on a plate by Luke Doulton's future wife. She would never live it down. Everyone she worked with would watch her suspiciously, waiting for her to betray her inadequacy. She couldn't blame them, either. After all, if she was good enough why shouldn't she get a job purely on her own merits? That was how everyone would see it and, m their position, so would she.

She had enough problems already; in banking women sad built-in problems purely because of their sex. The men in banking had a whole string of prejudices against women being allowed to operate on their level; women didn't understand money, they didn't have the nerve to play the stock markets, they got married and left just when you had trained them, they didn't play golf. Often the reasons they gave for disliking to deal with women were very irrational, but those were often the deepest rooted; you could reason them out of their belief that women did not understand international finance, but you could not get at the deeply buried root of their prejudices, and that was where the crazy ideas were hidden.

'I think you're amazing,' said Baba. 'I don't understand banking at all; if Luke talks about what he's doing I don't understand a word—but he doesn't seem to mind that, he says he doesn't want to talk to me about money.' She giggled, and Judith eyed her with a wry smile.

'I'm sure he doesn't,' she said.

'I tried to show an interest, I thought he'd like to talk about his job, most men do, although they usually think women are too silly to understand business. But Luke's different.'

Judith smiled, thinking: oh, yes? That wasn't the impression she had got of him. Of course, she hadn't wanted to meet him anyway, but she was human; she resented the way he had run an eye over her, decided she didn't tempt him and then coolly proceeded to forget she existed. Not a typical male? Baba had to be fooling herself!

'I know most men think women are stupid, but Luke's personal assistant is a woman and he says he relies on her, trusts her completely. I was worried about her at first.' Baba wasn't amused any more, her blue eyes were wide and almost cold. 'She's very attractive and I could see she didn't like me, she gave me some very icy looks. I really tried to make friends with her, but she wasn't having it.'

'I shouldn't worry about her—he's marrying you. If he'd been at all interested in her he would have asked her, not you.' Judith tried to sound reassuring, but it sounded to her as though something had been going on between Luke Doulton and his assistant. It must have been a shock to all his lady friends when he asked Baba to marry him. He had been a bachelor for so long and then had got engaged to someone he had only just met. Judith couldn't help speculating about his emotional processes She was surprised to find he had any emotions, beyond a dislike of people who tried to prise one of his possessions away from him.

'I suppose I'm worrying because it's the first time I've ever been in love,’ Baba explained. 'Have you ever been in love, Judith?’

'Not that I've noticed', said Judith, watching her flushed face with sympathy. Damn Luke Doulton if he didn't make her happy. Life is rarely as kind to anyone as it had been to Baba—she wasn't prepared for pain or unkindness, how would she react if she met it now?

CHAPTER TWO

DURING the next few days Judith was very busy; she found a flat only a quarter of an hour away from her grandmother's house and she bought a second-hand car which, the salesman assured her, without too much conviction, had been owned by an old lady who had rarely taken it out of the garage but had had it regularly serviced so that it was in perfect running order and had a very low mileage on the clock. Judith disregarded most of his assurances, but the car seemed to her to be a good buy at the price. She had not found it necessary to own a car while she lived in Manhattan; she took taxis if she wanted to get anywhere quickly and otherwise used public transport. At night it was too nerve-racking to use the subways, you never knew what you might run into, but if she went out with someone he usually ran her home afterwards anyway. Now that she was back in London she felt she would need a car; there was no direct bus route from her new fiat to her grandmother's house.

The flat was in a large modern block; it was rather small but quite big enough for her and, as it had a tiny sitting-room, she would be able to entertain occasionally. She signed the lease and began to decorate it during the day; she had no intention of paying someone else to do what she could do herself. Her few odd bits of furniture, her ornaments and pictures and books, were still on their way across the Atlantic and heaven alone knew when they would finally show up, so she couldn't move in yet, but she wanted to stay with her grandmother as long as possible to help her get over the first shock of losing Granddad. She felt it would make life much easier if Mrs Murry had someone else around; just talking about her husband was something her grandmother seemed to need to do, and Judith was gradually hearing all about their lives together, things she had never heard before and which she found touching and moving and tinged with both sadness and joy. Mrs Murry's moods changed all the time; one minute she was smiling and telling funny stories about the past, the next she would get up and leave the room and Judith would be left guessing that upstairs, in her bedroom, her grandmother was crying. Those moments she never witnessed; Mrs Murry would not let you see her grief, you could only guess at it obliquely.

Judith persuaded her to come and choose wallpaper and paint; they discussed the colour scheme endlessly and Mrs Murry even came along to the flat once or twice and insisted on helping to scrape the old wallpaper off the walls. She did that with energy, perched on a chair; Judith watched her secretly to make sure she didn't tire herself out, but she knew better than to hint at such a thing. She got the feeling that her grandmother got a kick out of attacking the old wallpaper; Mrs Murry was releasing some of her rage against her husband's death, scowling as she scraped. Damn you, take that! her small face said as damp paper curled down and fell to the floor.