Catching it, Judith glanced at the title, her face puzzled, then smiled. 'Oh, Alice…'
'Don't forget to read it,' he said, swivelling in his chair with his hands linked behind his dark brown head. The rain had cleared, as predicted, and the sun was shining through the great plate glass windows lining the wall behind him. Her eyes were dazzled, she stared at Luke blindly, then her sight cleared and their eyes met and Judith felt her heart jump inside her, a physical sensation which left her breathless and shaken. Her skin began to burn and her mouth went dry.
My God, what's wrong with me? she thought. I'm not falling in love with him, am I? That would be crazy. I'd have to be a suitable case for psychiatric treatment if I let myself get infatuated with someone like Luke Doulton. No one had ever had that sort of effect on her before, she'd decided long ago that she wasn't the type who lost her head over a man, she had seen other girls trapped in an infatuation with someone they should have run from on first sight, and felt sorry for them; told herself that she had too much common sense. Her cherished common sense seemed to have deserted her now. Her heart kept taking queer little sideways leaps every time Luke smiled at her.
He was talking about work again and Judith pulled herself together. It was probably indigestion, she told herself firmly. That was all it was—indigestion. She must have eaten her lunch too fast.
CHAPTER SIX
DURING the days that followed Judith tried to convince herself that that flash of insight had been pure imagination. She kept a close watch on her feelings, monitoring them like a severe teacher ready to slap a pupil down the minute she showed signs of wandering attention. When Luke came into her office and she felt her nerves leap with fire she told herself it was irritation because he had broken her concentration, when he turned suddenly and smiled at her and she felt an unusual heat in her face she insisted on believing that it was pure embarrassment in case he so much as guessed what stupid ideas had been passing through her head. Not that she was quite sure how he would react if he did ever catch on—but she certainly wasn't going to risk it in any event. He might be amused, he might be embarrassed, either prospect appalled her.
From the first day they worked well together, though, that was a plus factor. It soon became obvious that they thought alike in many ways. Not only did she understand what Luke was planning before he so much as mentioned the subject, but she could anticipate where he would turn next and have the relevant papers easily to hand when he asked for them. She picked up little clues from things he said, background material he was looking at, but often it was simply that she knew instinctively what he was likely to do because in his place she would move in that direction. All the same, she had a lot to learn, and it helped to keep busy; she couldn't think much about Luke if she was racing through a pile of folders, trying to make sense of what they contained.
Doulton-Klein International was a complex web of interests stretching across the world. It took Judith most of that first week to discover exactly how far Luke's organisation stretched. Each evening she took home with her a vast pile of folders and worked on them after her evening meal. When Robert rang she had to excuse herself from meeting him for a while.
'I'd really love to see that film, but I'm up to my ears in work. Can I take a rain check?'
'All work and no play,' Robert said mildly.
'I know, and I'm sure it won't be long before I'm abreast of the job, but until then I've got to scramble to keep up with the day's meetings. I can't go in to talk to directors when I don't know what the hell they're burbling about, can I?'
'You sound irritable,' he commented.
'Sorry, just tired, it will wear off.'
'What about this weekend? Can't you take Saturday night off?'
'Saturday would be just fine, thanks.'
'I'll pick you up,' he offered, and she accepted gratefully. She went back to her paperwork feeling rather weary. Her eyes were beginning to blur from studying small print for hours and her brains were taking longer to assimilate the details of the papers she was reading. It was a rainy Thursday evening, she could hear the melancholy dripping of the eaves outside and the passing traffic swished on the wet roads, there was something vaguely depressing about everything, even her supper had tasted flavourless and dull.
Baba wasn't back from California yet. Judith had talked to Ruth on the phone the evening before; she had wanted to find out when Baba was returning, the sooner she was back and in visible possession of Luke the better Judith would feel.
'No, I haven't heard,' Ruth had said, however. 'Not so much as a postcard, but that doesn't surprise me. Baba never sends postcards. If she has any definite news she'll probably ring me.'
'If she gets the part, you mean?' Judith agreed with a sigh. She didn't wish Baba any harm, but she hoped she wouldn't get that part, otherwise she might be over there in California for months, and Judith wanted her back here with Luke. Having Baba around as a visible reminder that Luke belonged to her would make it easier to kill those stupid, senseless feelings which she was telling herself did not exist.
'Wouldn't it be wonderful if she did?' Ruth was excited at the very idea. 'You know, I've always felt certain that Baba was someone special.'
'What about Luke Doulton, though? Baba says he isn't going to like it.'
'I'm sure he'll be as proud as a peacock—after all, she'd be famous and if he loves her he'll be delighted for her.' It seemed so simple to Ruth, she projected her own attitudes on to other people and couldn't imagine that anyone might see things differently. Ruth was generous enough to be overjoyed by the possibility that her sister might become a famous film star; it didn't enter her head that Luke saw life from a different angle.
'Let me know if she gets the part, won't you?' said Judith, and Ruth laughed.
'You can bet I will, I'll be on the phone so fast I'll probably be incoherent!' She paused and asked; 'How's the job? Getting on okay with Luke? Is he difficult to work for?'
'We haven't actually come to blows yet,' Judith hedged, and a moment later rang off; she didn't want to say too much about Luke, you never knew what you were giving away when you talked to someone.
She put down her paperwork and went to the window, pulling back the curtain to watch the rain streaking down the glass. It matched her mood. She had often wondered what effect love really had on people; watching lovers from the outside one was often thrown back on the idea that it was all illusion, people looked for something outside themselves which might make their lives more bearable and they thought they had found it in another human being when all they had found was someone else to feel lonely with. Judith hadn't been able to imagine herself going crazy over another human being; she had thought herself too cool-headed, too independent,
she had told herself that she would never make the mistake of believing that someone else could change the whole world for you. Now she was beginning to find out what havoc love could wreak—and she was confused, disorientated, bewildered.
The more she told herself not to look at him so much the more her eyes wandered in his direction. She had stored up a million tiny pictures of him now: Luke standing at a window, looking out, as she was doing now. Luke talking as he walked around her office, his hands in his pockets; his dark brown hair almost brushing his collar as he bent forward to look at a letter she showed him: the quick, sideways flicker of his eyes if they passed in the corridor; the secret smile with which he silently commented to her on something said in a board meeting, the shape and texture of his hand as he held a door open for her—she felt she was memorising him. imprinting him on her brain patterns. When he came into the building one morning while she was waiting for the lift she didn't have to turn to check that it was him: her body had antennae which registered his presence anywhere, the sound of his footsteps on the marble floor was unmistakable.
The phone rang and she jumped, letting the curtain drop. While she was moving across the room she pulled herself together; really, her nerves were right out of control. She had to do something about it, and soon.
'Hallo?'