Infatuation

They drank their coffee in the sitting-room, Judith nursed her cup and listened while the other two women talked about gardens. They were obviously getting on very well, the conversation never flagged, they sometimes interrupted each other in their eagerness to agree, or argue against what the other was saying. Mrs Murry wasn't always easy to get on with, she could be rather sharp and obstinate, her prickly sense of pride often caused difficulties with other people, but Judith could see that she and Mrs Doulton spoke the same language, and Judith was delighted by this surprising friendship.

'I'll bring you a root of that,' Mrs Murry promised as they talked about a rock plant which Mrs Doulton did not know. 'It's originally from the Himalayas, you won't find it in a nursery unless you're lucky.' Mrs Murry's tone amused Judith; her grandmother's satisfaction in being able to give Mrs Doulton something was quite audible. It didn't surprise Judith; Mrs Murry hated to accept kindnesses unless she could repay them, that was why she had insisted on bringing the roses with her.

'You are kind,' Mrs Doulton said with reassuring gratitude. 'I'd love to have a root of it—I wonder how it will transplant? Our earth must be much richer than yours, do you think it likes a more acid soil?'

Judith switched off; she was no gardener. Surreptitiously she glanced at the clock, it was gone three and she must suggest leaving soon.

Mrs Doulton stopped talking, her head to one side in an attitude that reminded Judith of a missel thrush on the lawns around the house, listening for worms. 'Now who is that?' she murmured. 'Did you hear a car or am I imagining it?'

Mrs Murry listened, too. 'I do hear voices,' she said, and Judith stiffened, her cup rocking in its saucer. She held her hand steady, listening intently. Yes, she could hear-Luke's voice. She had known it; hadn't she known he would arrive? He must have flown back from Paris this afternoon. Why had he come down here? But then she heard Baba laughing and her colour drained away. Baba was back. She was back and Luke had brought her down here to see his mother. He wouldn't do that if he wasn't happy to go through with the marriage. Judith's emotions collided inside her like a train crash; anger, pain, humiliation, resentment all toppled one on the other.

The door opened and Baba smiled at them all. 'Hallo, surprise, surprise!' She was wearing a very chic powder blue dress with a matching jacket cut to hug her small waist; she looked terrific, but then she always looked terrific, there was nothing new about that. She was talking vivaciously as she walked in with Luke at her shoulder. 'Isn't this weather gorgeous? I was afraid it would be pouring with rain when I got back to Heathrow. This is super!'

'How did you like California, Baba?' Mrs Doulton asked.

'Oh, fabulous—I'm really sold on it, I hated to leave.'

'We have a nice house in Vermont, I'm sure you'll like that, too,' Mrs Doulton said, and Luke gave her a wry smile. He hadn't looked at Judith, he was wearing an expression she found difficult to read, the only word she could think of to describe it was wary. Luke looked like a man very carefully watching where he put his feet; she wasn't sure what that meant.

'I'm afraid Baba wouldn't think much of Vermont—there isn't a big department store within fifty miles and it rains too often.'

'Oh, Luke, don't tease,' said Baba, tossing her hair back and laughing.

Judith switched off. She did not want to hear any of this, and so she missed the moment when her grandmother suggested taking Mrs Doulton for a walk around the garden. The first Judith knew of what was being discussed was when Luke pushed his mother out of the room with Mrs Murry hurrying ahead; Judith looked up and Baba sat down next to her on the sofa and gave her a suddenly nervous smile.

'I wish Luke hadn't brought me here this afternoon— I want to talk to him, but I can't decide what to say and this isn't the place we can talk, anyway. I went to see him at the minute I landed at Heathrow and he was just about to leave to come here, so he said: come on with me. So I came.' Baba made a little face, half laughing, half worried. 'I don't know what to do, Judith, that's the truth. '

'About what?' Judith asked with reluctance. She did not want to discuss Luke with Baba, but she couldn't think of a way of stopping Baba without being rude.

Baba looked at her, then at the door. They heard Luke talking at the front door. Baba lowered her voice. 'Well isn't official yet, but . . .' Suddenly her whole face lit up and Judith saw that she was luminous with excitement behind her smile. 'I've got the part!'

'Congratulations,' said Judith, trying to sound as happy as Baba was. 'That's wonderful! I'm so pleased for you. '

'I’ve been hanging on over there because Joey, the director making the film, said he was sure he could talk the producer round, he wanted me there so that I'd be on hand whenever the producer came to see him. It was nerve-racking Judith; I thought I'd bite my nails down to the fingers! But yesterday morning the producer said okay, I could do the film. He couldn't get anyone else, you see; I was the only one halfway suitable and my only drawback was that I was unknown.'

Judith listened as Baba talked on and on about the film, Beverly Hills, the director and his wife, who

had become a close friend, the wonderful life style they had and how much Baba had loved it all.

'Have you told Luke?' asked Judith, and Baba stopped smiling and shook her head, her eyes worried.

'I don't know how to break it to him. If you were me, Judith, what would you do? I can't bear to give up this part—but then there's Luke ... I won't see much of him for ages. Most of the film is being shot in the studios; I'll have to live in Beverly Hills. I'll get an apartment, my agent's over the moon about how much I'll be earning. I'm moving into a new income bracket entirely.' Baba stopped as Judith moved restlessly. Baba kept getting away from the point at which she held Judith's interest; she was too excited about the film to be able to keep her mind on the subject of Luke, and that was all that interested Judith. Baba gave her a helpless, pleading look, her big blue eyes wide. 'Oh, Judith, what am I going to do about Luke? The idea of getting married at the moment is out—we'll have to postpone it for at least a year. My agent can't make up his mind whether it's good publicity or not—Luke's big news, of course, but it might be better if I was free.' Baba smiled to herself and Judith wondered why, then Baba said: 'What would you do if you were me, Judith?' again and Judith felt like hitting her.

'Don't ask me!' she said coolly. 'You must make up your own mind—it's your life.'

'Of course, I'm mad about Luke,' said Baba, but the statement didn't ring true, not any more Judith looked at her with disbelief. 'He's absolutely fabulous and I want to marry him, but I couldn't bear to give up the film—I've got to think about my career. If everything worked out, I could be a big star in a year's time! I'm absolutely torn, Judith darling.' She gave Judith a tragic look and Judith wondered if she was rehearsing a big scene from the film. 'What do you do when your heart tells you to go one way and your head tells you to go another?' Baba asked her, and Judith was very tempted to scream.

'I'm not involved,' she said with great restraint. 'It isn't my problem, it's yours. Don't drag me into it.' She wanted to yell: you phoney! at her. She had been taken in by Baba's sweet good nature and sunny smile for years, and now she saw a new Baba, a girl who was ditching the man she claimed she loved because she preferred her career. When Baba first told her that she was keeping the chance of a part in a film from Luke, Judith had been surprised, now she saw that it was part and parcel of the whole thing. Baba liked life smooth and knot-free; when she ran up against a knot she just went round it any way she could and if she had to lie, or break an engagement, in the process—well, that was tough, but she did it with a smile and a sigh and a pleading look in those big blue eyes. Baba used her yielding look of femininity with ruthless awareness of what it could do, why hadn't she seen that before? Because Baba hadn't operated in quite that way when she was around until now? If Judith had ever known any of Baba's ex-boyfriends she might have seen a very different image, she suspected. She had often wondered about the way Baba's men came and went with such rapidity; Baba had usually explained to Ruth that their intentions were not precisely honourable, but maybe that had not been the whole truth. Maybe it had been Baba whose intentions were suspect.

'I've been trying to get up the nerve to tell him all the way down here,' Baba confided. 'Luke can be a bit scarey, you know, Judith. I'm not sure how he'll react; what shall I say to him?'

'I'm sure you'll think of something,' Judith said drily.

'I'm only being practical,' Baba protested, picking up the hint of criticism Judith could not quite suppress. 'If I went through with the wedding I'd hardly see him for months. That's no way to start a marriage.'

'I don't know why you're telling me—tell Luke. Or do you need a rehearsal?'

Baba looked at her, open-eyed in shocked surprise. 'Judith! That's not very kind. You sound quite nasty.'