Out of Control

'I've got money,' he said coolly, and Liza didn't know what he was talking about. She was thinking about the way his body made her feel, and all Keir talked about was money! if that's what you're so desperate to get,' he added. 'How much would it cost me? How much would you take?'

The words were meaningless and she frowned impa­tiently, wishing he would stop talking nonsense and touch her. Her temperature had climbed until she was on fire and her mouth was as dry as a kiln. Her hands shifted on his shoulders, her palms pressed down, feeling the heat of his skin under that jacket, the shirt beneath that. Her fingers gripped him, but the power of her own emotions frightened her into opening her eyes again and glaring at him.

'What are you talking about?' She didn't really care, she just wanted to distract herself.

i want you,' he said and her heart began to race like an overheated engine. 'You're beautiful and I've got to have you,' he said thickly, still not touching her, but his blue eyes were restlessly moving over her and she could read his mind. Those eyes possessed her, ate her.

She couldn't speak; her teeth were chattering because she suddenly remembered this sensation of intense need, of burning fever; she remembered it only too well and what it led to, what followed for her. She couldn't bear that again and looked at Keir with angry, frightened eyes, but before she could say anything she heard what he was saying and her eyes opened wide in shock.

'Why waste your time on Bruno when you can get far more from me?' Liza stared at his mouth, reading the words on his lips. 'You want a lot of money—OK, I've got a lot and I'm ready to be very generous.'

She couldn't believe he was really saying this to her. The insult was a burn on her skin and she almost cried out, realising now what he had meant when he'd asked her what she would take, how much it would cost him.

'You ... you're trying to buy me!' she whispered incredulously. That wasn't the look of love in his face; it was only hunger, a physical desire which caricatured love, distorted and derided it.

'That's an ugly way of putting it,' he said, frowning harshly. 'But if that's how you want to see it—I want you any way I can get you.' His mouth twisted cynically and she tensed in a spasm of pain, hating him.

'A little cold-blooded, isn't it?' she muttered, looking at him through her lashes with bitter dislike. She wasn't overheated any more; she was icy cold, she felt sick again, but this time it was a very different sickness—it was distaste and shrinking at the very idea of letting him touch her again.

'Cold-blooded?' He repeated and then laughed softly, is that what you think? I must be slipping. Oh, no, Liza, it won't be in the least cold-blooded.' A second later his mouth was on her throat and she stiffened as she felt his hands slide over her breasts, dragging aside the lapels of her neglige, laying bare the lace and frothy silk of her nightdress. His kiss moved hotly, down, down, between her breasts, pushing aside the fine lace, and his hands wandered intimately, surprising a groan of pleasure out of her before she could stop it.

'Sensuality is never cold-blooded, you see,' Keir said huskily, lifting his head to give her a crooked little smile.

'That's not what I've found,' Liza said bitterly and felt him tense, his blue eyes narrowing.

'What exactly does that mean?'

She pushed him away and wriggled into a sitting position, tidying her neglige with hands that shook a little. She had been more disturbed by the lingering intrusion of his mouth than she cared to remember, but she wasn't going to lose her head for the second time in her life. This time she was not going to get out of control.

i got taken for a fool by a guy like you when I was just a kid. It knocked me for six. I only knew him a few weeks, but I was head over heels, quite crazy over him. He was a travelling salesman, of all things! Oh, I thought he was so sophisticated, one of the smart set from London, and I was a country girl, I'd never even been to London then. He didn't find it hard to seduce me. I practically threw myself at him.' Her face was darkly flushed and she couldn't meet his eyes; she hated remembering what a fool she had been and she hated even more having to tell him what had happened to her. She was doing it because she wanted to make sure she didn't end up in bed with him. Once he had heard her story she had a strong feeling that he would leave, and even if it didn't scare him off she knew that she would never want to set eyes on him again once he knew. Either way, she would be safe, and that was all that mattered now. She had to escape the threat of falling in love again; she couldn't bear to go through that pain and longing.

He had listened in silence, his face gradually losing all expression until when she looked at him through her lashes she couldn't read his features at all.

'And then?' he asked in a flat, low voice.

She laughed harshly. 'He was married, of course-something he had forgotten to tell me. And had a couple of kids.'

'How did you find that out?'

'His firm told me when I rang to find out his home address,' Liza said in a level tone which partially hid the shock she still felt over that phone call. It was so many years ago, but at that moment the black misery swept back and her eyes stared into space, set and glaring.

'Did you ever see him again?'

She shook her head. 'There was no point by then, not once I knew he was married.'

'That was a bad break, but you should have got over it by now,' Keir said gently, his hand moving as if he meant to touch her, and she pulled away, shivering convulsively.

i haven't finished!'

Keir froze and sat watching her, his blue eyes intent, like cold blue water behind his half-closed lids. She took a deep breath.

'Two days after he left my home town I'd found out that he'd left me pregnant.' She had to force the words out. She hadn't ever said them before, to anyone. Why was she telling this man? He wasn't saying anything, wasn't moving. What was he thinking, sitting there so close to her, his lean body tense—so tense she felt as if he was some animal lying along a tree in a dense jungle, hidden and secret and waiting to pounce, its still body vibrating with awful energy. His face was so quiet and grave, but his body . . . She swallowed, and whispered. 'Say something.' 'What do you want me to say? What did you do?' His voice sounded weird, even stranger than her own. It had gravel in it; she felt he was talking through lava. He was angry. He was angry! She looked at him with her hands screwed up into fists and wanted to hit him and scream— why are you angry? Why should you be? I'm the only one here with the right to anger and it still erupts inside me every time I remember.

She didn't, though. She just laughed stupidly. 'Do? I didn't have a clue what to d

o. I was just seventeen, never been kissed ...' she laughed and Keir's brows drew together at the high shrillness, so she swallowed again and made her mouth be still, made herself be very quiet before she went on calmly and coolly, because it was just a story about something that happened a long time ago to someone else. She wasn't that girl, not any more. That girl had died.

'I'd been chucked out of my home by then, you see,' she said and Keir made a funny, stifled noise, incredu­lous, shocked.