I thought about what I was doing, scared to death. I thought about the boys I’d known, the few I’d dated since Tim. I thought about Tim choosing the safety of Emily rather than trusting me to be there for him for the rest of our lives. “Yes,” I said.
I was going to get married.
Excitement flooded me.
And I felt like crying.
Thirteen
“WHAT DO YOU THINK? SHOULD THE PICTURE HANG HERE or over there?” Dressed in jeans and a loose fitting button-down shirt, Emily stood on the hearth of the fireplace in the hundred–year-old home she’d rented from her grandparents. She was holding a picture Tim’s mom had painted. It was one of Tim’s favorites. The covered bridge brought back memories of childhood freedom and a world filled with nothing but opportunities.
“There,” he said, grabbing the cement nails and hammer. It was early spring. Birds were back from their winter getaways, buds were starting to pop out on the trees. He’d seen his first flowers of the season the night before on the way home from the gas station where he’d worked his usual four-hour evening shift.
And instead of being out on his bike, he was spending this glorious Saturday helping Emily move. He’d taken the day off for this.
“Come on,” she said, taking his hand as soon as he’d hung the picture. “Let’s go put the bed together.”
She knew him well.
And half an hour later, when he had the slats in place, the mattress and box springs she’d been using since she was in junior high placed on top of them, he helped her put on the sheets and quilt her grandmother had made for her when she graduated from high school. Pillow cases were next.
Emily threw the pillows toward the headboard and then sat down. “Come here, Cowboy.” She grabbed his hand and spread her knees, pulling him between them. “You want to take a break?” She glanced at the fly of his jeans.
He wanted to want to. Usually he wanted to.
Must be the weather. The bike that had been cooped up under a cover all winter calling out to him.
“We have to christen the place.” Emily’s smile would probably have shocked the people who saw her every day at school.
Why was he hesitating? Her having a place of her own was a godsend to them. No more timing their lovemaking when his mom was out or her parents were gone. No more frustrating sessions in the car.
They were adults. And free. And . . .
“What’s wrong?” That hurt look was back in her eyes. He hated that look. His Emily was so sweet. Everything he’d ever wanted, really. Mostly.
“Nothing,” he said, pushing thoughts of his motorcycle to the back of his mind. “Just . . . it’s just kind of . . .”
She sat back, her expression guarded. “What?”
Tim sat beside her. He loved her. He really did. There was just something missing. In him. “It’s all me,” he said.
Her lips started to tremble. “You’re breaking up with me.”
“No! It’s nothing like that.” Emily needed a ring. She needed forever. And he wanted that, too.
Someday.
Probably.
“I love you, Teach, you know that.” He grinned his best grin. The kind that usually had her melting for him.
“Then what?” She played with a couple of his fingers.
“I just . . . I’m not ready to . . . live together.” The words were a relief. Yeah, that’s all that was bothering him. “You’re all settled. You’ve got your degree, your career, but I’m still in school. I’ve got another year before I graduate.” He’d lost a little time when he’d left Wright State to transfer to an engineering school in Dayton.
She didn’t say a word. But she was listening.
“I’m not ready to take on the financial responsibility of a home. It takes pretty much all I make to help Mom keep up with hers.”