“Not yet. I have one more year. I don’t want to bother you, but is Tara there?”
“Yes . . .” Her tone got more hesitant.
“May I speak with her?”
“Yes, just a moment.”
He had no idea how many seconds passed, probably not nearly as many as it seemed. The light on the corner turned red, and cars started to line up beside him.
“Hello?”
He started to breathe again. “What’s up?”
“Not much. How are you?”
“Good. I’m good. I’m going to be in the area and wondered if I could stop by. Just to say hi.”
“I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
“Why not?” he pressed her. He wasn’t taking no for an answer, not this time. It wouldn’t be right.
“I just want to catch up on your life, Tara. I promise, no funny stuff.”
“I’m engaged.”
Wow. He hadn’t seen that coming.
He should check his pulse to see if his heart was still beating. He could hardly breathe enough to get the next words out, and he remembered hearing that when someone is faced with an event of catastrophic proportion, something inside him takes over and his heart is no longer in control. Instead, the brain compensates, leaving him on autopilot.
That’s where he was when he said, “Really, Tara, all I want to do is talk. This might be the last time we ever see each before we both start our new lives.”
“I don’t know . . .”
“I won’t stay long. I’d just like to say hi.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” He hung up before she could change her mind.
I wouldn’t be able to go on if Tim ever found out what I’d become. I’d been his Tara. His sweet girl. Innocent. And hungry. He’d been the only man who’d ever touched me. Ever. Anywhere.
What would he think of me now? A woman who’d been . . . a woman who teased men to the point of that?
A woman who couldn’t bear the thought of a man’s body part? Who was afraid of sex?
A woman who’d been penetrated in the most hideous way.
I couldn’t bear the thought of the disgust I’d see in his eyes. If Tim knew what James had done, it would turn Tim off completely.
I couldn’t bear to have Tim be as disgusted with me as I was with myself.
But he’d called me.
He wanted to see me.
Maybe God hadn’t completely forgotten me.
I turned and saw my mother standing there.