Sweetness (Bold As Love 1)

“I don’t feel like it.”

This is where our conversation changed. My dad sighed and said, “Hon, I know your mom put you through hell, but you can’t just stay in the house all the time. You need to get out, have fun, and get back to normal. I know it’ll be hard, but I’m here for you.”

This time I sighed. “I am back to normal.”

My dad spoke quietly, “Honey, you are not back to normal. You won’t even look me in the eye, much less anyone else. You hardly ever talk. Sometimes, I think you’ve lost your voice! Moreover, when you do talk, it’s so quiet that I have to strain to hear you. You don’t hang out with your friends anymore and you stay home all the time. You used to be so full of life, hon.”

My eyes welled up with tears. I looked down into my lap and tried not to break down. “I’m fine.” I cannot hang out with friends when I didn’t have any. Moving to a new school and being the new kid doesn’t help making friends any easier. I was not spending time alone to be miserable. Why couldn´t he just leave me alone?

“I’ll help you work through this. Please just try.”

“What do you want me to do?” That was probably the longest sentence I’d spoken all day.

“There’s a hockey game Thursday, right?” I nodded. I could hear the smile in his voice. “Well, we will go to the game. You’ll love it. It’s not NHL, but it’s still hockey.”

He was using my love of hockey against me. We used to go to games all the time. I suddenly had the urge to go to the rink. I wanted to feel the crisp coldness as it attacked my skin, which would make tiny chill bumps pop up. I wanted to get mad as hell at the ref for making a bad call. I wanted to pull my hoodie off because I was too hot from cheering.

I was a huge fan of the Pittsburgh Penguins, but we lived in North Carolina. We would go and watch the Hurricanes play, especially when the Penguins were in town. They would be in town next week.

I took a quick breath and asked, “Can we go see the Pens play next week?” I peeked up and saw his grin grow wider.

“Of course! You can go buy the tickets after dinner. You can invite a friend too, if you’d like.” Tears sprang

to my eyes again. I pushed my plate away and excused myself.

I all but ran to my room. I shut my door and collapsed on my bed. I buried my face in my pillow and cried. I cried for all the things I had lost and asked the same question I always do: Why me?

An hour later, my eyes were dry, and I was exhausted. I stumbled over to my dresser and brought my laptop to my bed. I searched for our usual seats on the first level, behind one of the goals. I was thrilled that they were available.

My dad’s credit card information was in the system from previous purchases. I ordered two tickets and double-checked our mailing address. They should be here in a few days. For the first time in a year, I was excited about something. I went to sleep with a smile on my face for the first time in what seemed like forever.

2

Jake

I closed my locker and turned to find Claire looking at me expectantly. “Yes?” I asked, leaning back against my locker and crossing my arms.

“The fall formal is coming up,” she said with a gleam in her eyes.

Oh, no. “It’s a month away. That hardly counts as ‘coming up,’ ” I told her. I wasn’t planning on going, but it was right after our last game. If we won the championship, I knew the team would talk me into going as they did every year.

“Have you got a date?”

Claire was a nice girl, but that didn’t mean I wanted to take her to the formal. I’ve had relationships before and, with the way things are at home, they had never worked. I’ve stayed away from them since.

“Not yet,” I answered with a smile. The smile seemed to relax her. Good. If I had to take someone, it would probably be Claire. However, I wasn’t going to ask her just yet. The warning bell rang. “Catch ya later,” I said before I walked off.

Oddly enough, I loved being at school. It meant I wasn't at home with an alcoholic dad. Even though school bored me to death sometimes, it was better than being at home. School was the next best thing to being at the rink. There was nothing like the good, rough sport of hockey to make me feel better.

On the other hand, I liked being at home, but only because of my little brother. He was the light of my life and I loved hanging out with him.

The day passed like any other, hanging out with the boys at lunch and trying to focus on my classes. I had one class left to go before I picked up my little brother, Drake, and went to practice.

“Alright everyone. This is the last day to work in class on the project that I handed out yesterday. Go ahead and pair up. You have the whole period to work. You will need to complete this assignment outside of class. It’s due next week.”

I looked towards where Emily, the new girl, was sitting. She looked a little scared. She didn’t look up when I dragged a desk in front of her. I had to admit, something about her intrigued me. Of course, I wondered what her story was. She was a beautiful girl with medium brown hair that was shoulder length. Her eyes were brown with little flecks of gold. Her nose was slender and led to pink, kissable lips.

Kissable? I shook my head and said hello. Emily didn’t look at me as she mumbled a reply. She gathered her things together and placed them neatly on her desk. Same as yesterday, her leg started bouncing and, when she raised her head slightly, I could see her biting down on her bottom lip. She didn’t have on any makeup and her eyelashes were long and pretty. I cleared my throat and thought she lowered herself into the seat some. Maybe I was just seeing things.