Sweetness (Bold As Love 1)

“You don’t blame yourself, do you?” I asked concerned.

“I did. Sometimes I still do.”

I turned around in his arms and placed a hand on his cheek. He leaned into my hand and closed his eyes. “You can’t think that. You didn’t kill her. Her cancer took her. Not you. It’s not your fault. She probably wouldn’t have wanted you there when it happened anyway.” A tear fell from his closed eyes and I wiped it away. He leaned his forehead against mine and I wrapped my arms around him in a hug. I waited for him to open his eyes and after a few minutes he did.

He gave me a soft kiss and said, “Thanks. Now let’s enjoy this view, before we have to leave.” He turned me around and placed his chin on my shoulder again.

We stood in comfortable silence and I felt closer to him than I did before. It said something when you could stand in silence with someone and be content with it.

I lifted his hand from my waist and looked at his watch. It was a quarter to ten. Wow, time had flown by. “We should probably head home,” I whispered, not wanting that at all.

“Just a few more minutes,” Jake said into my neck, kissing it softly. I leaned into him relishing the feeling of the security he gave me. Jake continued to adorn my neck with soft kisses that didn’t last long enough.

“C’mon. I don’t want to upset Mike,” he said with a small smile.

I let him walk me down the pier, down the steps, and onto the beach. “This has been perfect,” I told him. He smiled at me and I felt the flame inside me start up again.

“It has, hasn’t it?” I wrapped my arm around his and hugged it to me keeping our fingers interlocked.

Too soon, we reached the walkway that led to Jake’s car and we walked over the sand dunes, leaving the beach behind. Jake opened the door for me and I got in. My eyes followed him as he walked around the front and to his side of the car. Once he was inside and had the ignition on, I turned on the heat just now realizing how cold it was without Jake’s body heat.

I took his hand and held it in my lap as we rode home. Every now and then, I kissed his hand or his knuckles. He would repeat the action on me each time I did so. I started to do it more frequently to see if he would keep going. He did and when he caught on to my game, he glanced over at me and chuckled firmly planting our hands against his chest.

I giggled and tried to bring them back to me, but his grip won’t allow me to budge our hands. “Jake,” I faked a whine.

“Emily,” he said in the same tone. I couldn’t help but laugh. I let it go since part of my arm was resting against his strong chest.

We pulled up at my house and I sighed. Jake chuckled, but still got out and opened my door. He walked me to the door and pulled me to him. “I had a fantastic time,” he told me.

“Me too,” I said, a little dizzy from the heat radiating from his body. I stood on my tiptoes and gave him a short, sweet kiss since the living room light was still on.

“I’ll probably come by on Sunday. The guys want to hang out tomorrow, so I figure I had better do it before they start hounding me. If you want to come over tomorrow night, let me know and I’ll be here.”

I felt a twinge of disappointment at not seeing him tomorrow. He had become a regular occurrence in my everyday life. “Okay. Good night, Jake, and thanks for tonight.”

He smiled and gave me another kiss. “Thank you. Sweet dreams, Emily.”

I opened the door and went inside. I locked the door behind me, knowing that dad would ask me to anyway.

Dad was sitting on the couch and turned to look at me when I come in.

“How was it?”

“Great.” I walked up to the back of the couch and leaned down to kiss him on the cheek. “I’m going to bed.”

“Okay, honey. I’ll check on you before I leave tomorrow.”

I nodded and said good night. I went to my room, closing the door behind me. I leaned on the door and took a deep breath. A smile played on my lips as I pushed off the door, changed into pajamas and crawled into bed.

I woke up tangled in my covers. I bolted upright and tried to get them off of me even though I was freezing. I ran to the bathroom and promptly threw up. Oh gosh. I felt horrible. I brushed my teeth and saw that I was pasty looking. My eyes looked a little puffy and my hair was stuck to my neck. How was that? I was cold, not hot.

I grabbed a hair tie and threw my hair up to keep it from getting in the way in case I threw up again. I dragged my feet to my bed and fell on it. I covered up and was soon back asleep.

The next time I woke up, light was shining through the blinds and I immediately ran to the bathroom. I was vomiting when I heard my dad come in. “Emily?” I flushed the toilet, wiped my eyes, and rinsed out my mouth. I did not have the energy to brush them. “Are you okay?”

I looked at my dad and tried to smile. “Just sick, I guess.”

He came to me and placed the back of his hand on my forehead. His eyebrows creased in concern. “You’re burning up, honey.”