Logan texted me that Savannah was knocked out already, so instead of waking her up for the sake of moving her home, he said he didn’t care if she spent the night. That means it’s just Ian and me in his apartment. We’re fully dressed, lying on his bed, and making out like we’re teenagers. Knowing that we’re not having sex anytime soon is not helping because now, more than ever, it’s all I want. But I love that it’s part of our new normal for a bit.
“I’m nervous about living with you,” I mumble, kissing him hard before he can respond. That’s how this make-out session has gone so far. We kiss and talk and kiss some more. I shift my hips over the bulge I feel through his jeans.
“Babe,” he groans as he grabs my hips to keep them still. His eyes flash open and steal my breath from the intensity he sets on me. “Are you trying to kill me?” I nod my head and he chuckles. “I’m nervous, too.”
My shoulders sag. “Lie to me, Ian!”
“Fine. It’ll be an easy adjustment. There won’t be anything we do to annoy each other. You’ll feel right at home from the very beginning. You’ll love every second of it. Keep reminding yourself of the perks: I’m here. You’re here. We can kiss whenever we want.” With that, he starts kissing me again. He rolls us so I’m on my back and he gets on his hands and knees. He laughs at me when my body arches off the bed and I groan in frustration because I don’t touch anything.
“You’re an ass.”
“Gotta stick to the game plan somehow, gorgeous.”
Ah, so he needs space. I relax into the bed, my hands wrapped around his wrists that are on either side of my head, and I savor the kiss he gives me. He slows things down dramatically. All I can do is lie here and melt into the bed. Ian’s mouth leaves mine to blaze a trail along my jaw and down my neck.
“I’m scared about quitting my job.” This has me more worried than anything else, if I’m honest.
Ian stops, leans back, and sits on his haunches. “Sydney, I’ll take care of you and Savannah.” There’s so much seriousness and also that signature warning of his that says not to push him.
I sit up and place my hands on his chest. I know how important it is for him to have that capability. It’s why I can be honest when I say, “It’s not that. I know you will.”
“Then what is it?”
How do I explain? My gaze drops to my hands, but Ian hooks a finger under my chin and makes me look at him. “I mean, I’ve been working since I found out I was pregnant. The only time I wasn’t working was right before and right after I had her. I’m supposed to stop and let you take over?”
“Yes,” he answers simply. “It’s only until you finish school. That’s this spring, right?”
“Well, I don’t know. I was thinking of going for my master’s, but maybe I should wait? My parents aren’t paying for that anyway, so if I wait, I can save up, work, and then go for it. I don’t need it at this point.”
Ian cups my face. “If you want to go now, go. I—”
“Don’t you dare offer to pay for it. I draw the line at that.”
“Okay. So, what do you want to do?”
With the interning and shadowing I’ve been doing already, I’m a little hesitant about going for my master’s because I’m so ready to start teaching. I was thinking I should just get it now because it’d be easier to keep going, but I know I’ll have the drive later. “I think I’ll hold off. I’m ready for the next phase.”
“Are you sure that’s what you really want to do?”
“Yes,” I answer without hesitation.
“Then stop worrying about not working for a few months. Put in your notice tomorrow and start searching for your teaching job so you’ll have it lined up.”
“Okay. I’m done talking now. Kiss me.”
“Thank fuck,” he mutters, but it’s with a smile. Ian kisses me into a frenzy before pulling away and saying it’s time for bed like a tease. Then again, anything that happens with us for the foreseeable future is teasing because we’re holding out from sex.
Man, I can’t get over that. I never thought I’d see the day where Ian Rhett would tell me we are not having sex and that he has a good reason for it. I started to worry about it because it wasn’t like us. Then, he clued me in. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier about not having sex in my entire life. The simple fact that he’s willing to wait for us to settle into this new relationship speaks volumes.
And if I haven’t said it already: I like it.
When we finally settle into bed to sleep, Ian is lying on his back and I’m on my side with my head on his chest like always. This whole thing is still scary to me, but I’ll be damned if this moment right here isn’t the happiest I’ve been since right before I told him I loved him for the first time. That was actually the last time, too, because I haven’t said it since. Ian’s told me many times, especially when he was trying to convince me that we should be more, but I’ve never said it back.
“Ian?”
“Sydney.”
The brief sense of bravery disappears. I don’t want to jump the gun here and get ahead of myself just because things are good on week one. “Nothing.”