“Are you going to talk to me now or later?” he asks. We always talk. It’s just a matter of timing.
“Can you look at me?”
He turns his head immediately. I have the best husband, I really do. If one of us is the problem spouse, it’s me. I know it. Scott would deny it because it’s what good husbands do. I’m his polar opposite in a lot of ways, but we fit in so many others. Nothing tears me up more than an issue between us. And there’s not even an issue between us right now, but I’m apparently making one.
“I just...” As my voice fades, Scott pulls me to him again.
“Tell me,” he softly orders. Only because I love him and because this nagging sense is really bothering me am I letting him get away with that.
“I don’t want you to play this season.”
Scott’s eyes widen. “What?”
“I mean, I do, but I’m having some kind of anxiety over it and I don’t know why. Something doesn’t feel right.”
“You’re not one to worry, so this worries me.”
“I’m sorry.” The last thing I want to do right before or during the season is make Scott worry. I feel like it’s part of my job as his wife to make sure that when he’s working, he can focus on that and when he’s with us, he can focus on us.
Scott doesn’t try to tell me not to be sorry. Instead, he holds me close. That’s exactly what I want and need. “Are you happy, Sylvie?” he asks quietly.
I lift my head. “God, yes. Why are you even asking me that?”
“We’ve been married a long time. You say something doesn’t feel right and I don’t know. I have to make sure it’s not that.”
He’s right. Our ten-year anniversary is coming up soon. Wow. Have we really been married for ten years? I prop myself up on his chest. “I’m happy, Scott. You and the girls are the only people who make me happy.” I take a brief pause. “What are you going to do for our anniversary?”
Scott laughs. “You act like I’ll be able to make it a surprise.”
“If anyone can keep a secret from me, it’s you.” He’s the only one who doesn’t give in to my need to know things.
“Any expectations? It is a big one.”
“No more than usual. As long as we have a babysitter, then I’ll consider it a success.”
He chuckles. “That’s all you ever want from me,” he says with a fake tsk. “Sex.”
“What can I say? You’re really good in bed.”
“Daddy!” The door to our room bursts open as Stella runs in and jumps onto our bed. I sigh as she crawls over me to wiggle between us, her sister right on her heels. “We’re hungry.”
“You are? Well then, sounds like I best be getting out of bed. I can’t have my girls going hungry. What do we want for breakfast?”
With a smile on my face, I watch as he picks each girl up, hauling them out of the room over his shoulders while they giggle and spout off their breakfast demands. He’s the best father, the best husband, and the best man in our lives. He is truly amazing. He married me, knowing that I
can be difficult, that I’m nosy, that I’m a little out of control, especially compared to how he’s laid back.
We tried and tried and tried to have kids and when we discovered that I was the problem, he gave me time to mourn what I would never be able to do. Then, he started us on the adoption route, though that didn’t end in the way we expected. Once we finally had our family, things settled into the routine we have now and it’s been bliss.
It hasn’t been easy, of course. What life is? But I know how to handle Scott, he knows how to handle me, and most importantly, we continuously work on our marriage to keep it strong. How else would we last nearly ten years of marriage through all the ups and downs we’ve experienced?
Now, we just need to figure out what’s nagging me.
On that note, I get out of bed to take a quick shower. Scott doesn’t have to be anywhere for a few more hours, so he’ll take the girls to school. If he has the opportunity, then he always takes advantage of it. I get the girls ready for school while he gets dressed himself. Once they’re well on their way, I walk into the kitchen and smile when I see there’s a plate of food waiting for me.
Our life is a bit predictable as we’re set in our ways and we follow a routine every day, but there’s a source of comfort in that as well. Maybe that’s what’s nagging me? The fact that we are so predictable? I can pretty much tell you how every day will go. If something happens to change it up, I can change with it and still predict how the rest of the day will go. We have patterns we follow regardless of whatever curveballs come at us.
Once I eat, I start cleaning the kitchen. I used to work, but my dream job was to be a stay-at-home mom. When Scott’s brother, Roger, died and we had to look after Lizzy and then Stephanie and Stella, I quit my job. Doing that became a full-time job. I’ve never looked back, though. There’s always plenty to do around the house. In the afternoons, the girls keep me busy between Stella’s practice and her wanting ice time when she’s not practicing, and then Stephanie likes to skate with her sister, but she’d rather socialize.