“It was long. How'd you know how many times?”
“I guessed.”
I can hear the smile in her voice. Grabbing her hands, I kiss her knuckles before pulling her to me. Quickly, I realize that she isn't wearing her pajamas, but an old tee of mine along with a pair of my sweatpants instead.
“Wearing my clothes again?”
“They're comfortable, Jake. Are you working tomorrow?”
“Yes, but I get off early.”
I know she's smiling. Quickly, I kiss her without a second thought. I can’t contain myself. She is so damn beautiful even in complete darkness. Resting my head on my pillow, Sweetness starts talking.
“Since we don't have to work the night away, what do we plan on doing?”
“We could go out.”
“How about we just stay home?”
“And do what,” I ask, a smile playing on my lips.
Her reply is a kiss that makes me never want to leave this bed.
***
Today, I'm supposed to get off early. Damn work. Of course, the one time I have plans and I have to work overtime. Hearing the disappointment in Emily's voice is enough to make me want to quit and go home to her. Bills need to get paid though. The extra money will come in handy, no doubt.
By the time I get home, all I want to do is go straight to bed. Emily has other plans and begins to bitch at me the moment I walk in the door.
“What happened to helping out around the house, Jake? I'm sick of doing all the work.”
“Emily, can this wait until tomorrow? I'm tired and would love to go to sleep.”
“No! I've spent all day thinking about this and we are talking about it now. You said you would pick up your slack, but obviously not.”
She is pacing back and forth behind the couch. I lean against the door frame, a smirk playing on my lips. No need to deny that a mad Sweetness turns me on.
“Jake! Have you heard a word I've said? Don't even think about trying to seduce your way out of it! I'm sick of having to work, going to school, and then coming home to clean up after us all the time. I'm tired of dealing with the miscarriage myself. You don't seem to be good for anything other than sex.”
Taken aback by her words, I just look at her for a second. Then I unleash a storm that I didn't even know was brewing inside of me.
“Dealing with it yourself? You've got to be kidding me. I've been trying for months to get you to talk to me and you insist on going elsewhere. Damn it Emily! I've tried and tried but all you do is shut me out. What more do you want?”
“I'm tired of the emotional train wreck. There's nothing I want more than to feel better about everything. I don't know what to do anymore. If I bottle it up, it hurts our relationship. If I let it all out, it hurts our relationship. Maybe we should just take a break from each other. What if what I need is to be to myself for a few weeks?”
“You are ruining us. That you got right. If you would just let me help you, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now. But hell no. The world has to go up in flames before you allow yourself to trust me in helping you. You want a break? Then you have it.”
I go to our bedroom, slam the door shut, and begin packing a few essentials. The plan is to give Emily all the damn time she needs to herself. Why I said I would do whatever it takes to help her I don't know. She has made it apparent that she doesn't want my help. With clothes and other essentials, I walk out of our bedroom. I don't look for Emily and I don't say goodbye as I see myself out.
9
Emily
I want to scream at Jake not to go. It's me who wanted this. Not him. Sometimes, I hate the fact that he will do whatever I ask if he thinks it might help me. His strength, his love. I need them both, especially with my mind in turmoil and my stomach in knots so tight, I would have to cut them out just to get rid of them.
Yet, I didn't stop him from walking out.
I could have. But I didn't.