“I'm sorry for what I said, Sweetness.”
“Let's just move on.”
“I should get going. I'm supposed to take Drake to the movies today. I'll see you soon,” I say with a kiss on the forehead.
“Tell Drake I miss him. Be careful.”
“I will.”
I give her a bear hug and hold her for about a minute. When I release her and turn to walk out, she stops me.
“I know that kiss on my forehead was not your kiss goodbye.”
Chuckling, I return to Emily and give her the goodbye kiss she is looking for.
11
Emily
Still thinking about the kiss an hour later, I've finally accepted that the baby is gone. It wasn't the right time and it was no one's fault. There's nothing wrong with remembering the baby, but it shouldn't consume me. How am I going to fulfill my promise of living life to the fullest with Jake if I am lost in grief?
I have learned something from all of this. Grief is this massive boulder that weighs you down until it eventual
ly squishes you. Having that weight sitting on you makes everything harder. It's harder to breathe, harder to move, and harder to live.
What I was trying to do was hold the grief on my shoulders all on my own. Jake and I both lost something that day. Together is how we should have handled it, instead of trying to do so separately. The thoughts are pushed away as a knock sounds at my door.
“Come in,” I call.
It's my dad. He sits on my bed as I sit upright.
“How's it goin', hon?”
“Better. I truly feel better. As if I can move on with my life.”
For the first time, that thought doesn’t feel like a blow at my baby. I can move on and still think about him or her. Dad wraps me in a hug and I feel comfort radiate from his body into mine.
“Good. You have some guests.”
As if on cue, Drake and Jake walk in. With one brother on each side of me, I couldn't be happier.
“Are you going to have Thanksgiving with us?” Drake asks.
“We could all have Thanksgiving together,” my dad tells him.
Drake's smile lights up and I'm so happy to see him. However, it has been days since I've been with Jake.
“Dad, why don't you and Drake go play some games?”
“Sure thing.”
They walk out of my room talking about what they would play. I lift up my covers for Jake to climb between. I cuddle against him and want nothing more than to feel his naked body against mine. My hand slips under Jake's plain white tee and roams over his stomach. Oh how I missed the heat that rises from his body like steam. When I look up at Jake, love shines from his eyes.
The half of my heart that is Jake’s begins to brighten from its dimming state. Stitches begin to sew my heart back together and cover up any holes. I feel whole and at peace again. All thanks to this man before me. Leaning forward, my lips brush against Jake before slamming against his.
The sweet taste of Jake enchants me as his tongue hugs mine. Jake grabs the back of my neck to pull me closer to him. It's as if our kisses are cups of water after thirsting for days. My stomach quivers as Jake's hot tongue runs over the sweet spot below my ear before shaking with pleasure as he begins to suck on my skin. Heat burns a path down to the center of my legs and there's nothing more I want than Jake filling me.
I pull back as to not give in to my urges. My eyes absorb the desire shooting from Jake's.