I sigh, loudly, hoping it annoys her. She ignores me. I walk closer, standing behind her. “What are you working on?”
Her shoulders fall. “This is the last quilt my grandma was working on. I never want to finish it, so I try not to work on it but on rare occasions. She always did them by hand; that helps in me taking my time with it.” Deanna sighs and leans her head back, which causes it to rest against my stomach since her table and chair are taller than normal. Her eyes open. “What’d you bring?”
“Sandwiches from Bagels and Butts. I can leave if you want. I wanted to bring food and drop off Otis at the least.”
“I won’t kick you out just yet.” Her smile wobbles. She stands and we head into the kitchen to eat. Her eyes widen when she sees there’s a sandwich for me. “I can’t believe my eyes.”
“I didn’t have time to cook. My body will probably hate me tomorrow.”
“But it’ll love you today. How did you do, by the way?” She points to her head.
“Perfect day.”
I get a real smile out of her. “That’s great news. Thanks for dinner.”
“Does this mean you’re done being mean to me?” I faintly smile so she knows I’m mostly kidding.
“For now.” At least she’s still smiling. “Besides, you can handle it.”
I don’t want to handle it is the thing, which is probably shitty of me, I realize. “Why are the diaries back?”
Her smile disappears. “Dad said he couldn’t stand the negativity coming from them. I guess this gives me the opportunity to finish reading them.”
“You want to?” Why would she want to do that? She knows there’s nothing good to be found within the pages of those notebooks.
Deanna nods. “I feel like there’s a reason they’re back with me. Maybe she’ll surprise me.”
“Darlin’, your dad couldn’t even stand them. I doubt she’ll surprise you.”
She glares, not saying anything else. Probably because she knows I’m right. We don’t talk anymore, but her eyes keep sliding over to those notebooks in the living room. She’ll be at my house, crying, within hours of reading them. I’d bet money on it. When we finish eating, I stand, walk over to her, and kiss the top of her head since she decides not to look up at me. I don’t know what the fuck I did to her.
“Want my advice?” I don’t wait for an answer. “Focus on work. When things go to shit, you can always count on your job. Call me if you need me.”
I’m halfway to the door when she asks, “Is that what you do? What you will do?”
“What?” I turn to face her. I’m not entirely sure what she’s asking.
“If we start having problems, are you going to dismiss us and focus on work instead?”
My mouth opens, closes, and opens again. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Yes, it is. Focus on work means ignoring what’s wrong and paying attention to only your job. So I’m prepared, is that what you’re going to do? Because that doesn’t fix anything. The problems will still be there at the end of the day.”
I cross the room, take her hand, and tug her to stand. Deanna avoids my eyes, deciding to stare at my chest instead. She’s all over the fucking place today. The last thing she needs to worry about is us. Grabbing her chin, I force her to look at me. “If we have issues, we’ll handle them. I won’t pick my job over you, Deanna.”
She nods, yet she doesn’t look like she believes me. Where is this sudden mistrust coming from? Or has she always mistrusted me and this is the first time she’s showing it?
“I mean it, and I need you to believe it.”
“I hear you, Brayden.” And I hear what she doesn’t say. Deanna kisses me before gently pushing me away. “I’ll talk to you later. Thanks for dinner and for bringing Otis back.”
There’s no point in replying. I simply leave and hope she gets out of this mood. My mind starts thinking of ways I can prove I’m committed because I’ve obviously done a bad job in showing it.
“Ladies and gentlemen! Captain Hook has returned!” Marco shouts the moment I step into the room.
“There aren’t any ladies in here, dumbass,” I say over the slaps on my shoulder and the “Good to have you back” comments. Marco shrugs with a smile. “Thanks, guys.” This is my first day back with everyone, and I’m more than ready to get things going. Once the commotion calms down, I find EJ. I thought about finding Collin and Cal to see how things went on the road trip with Collin and his anxiety, but I doubt they want me checking in.
“Hey, man,” EJ says. “Feeling good?”