“Nice to meet you.” At the arrival of new people, Jackson wraps his arms around my thighs, but doesn’t hide behind them. He even offers his own hello that makes my heart proud. There’s a brief moment of silence as we all stand slightly awkwardly in the kitchen. My heart begins to pound in my chest. Elias won’t be back until late tonight. I can’t stay here with his family. My throat already closes with the awkwardness I feel. “Are you all settled in? Is there anything I need to help you with?”
“We’re fine, Raelynn. We’ve made ourselves at home.”
“Good. I don’t know if Elias told you, but I have other plans for Christmas. If you’re good with keeping Bree until Elias gets back...”
Alice raises one thin eyebrow at me. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of my granddaughter.”
“Right. I didn’t mean...” She doesn’t seem like she cares what I meant. “Do you mind if we say goodbye to her?”
“Of course not.” She hands her back to me.
“We’ll see you in a few days, sweet Bree.” I kiss her cheek and crouch. “Do you want to hug Bree bye?” I ask Jackson. He knows we’re leaving, but he doesn’t exactly know where we’re going.
He carefully hugs her. “Don’t do anything new while I’m gone,” he says, echoing what he’s heard Elias say to her. “I’ll miss you.” He kisses her cheek. “Love you, Bree.”
My heart combusts at his declaration. The only person Jackson has ever said he loved was me and now, he’s telling it to Bree. Jackson releases his hug and I stand, giving Bree back to Alice. Doing my best not to shed tears, I tell her when she last ate, napped, and was last changed, and any other pertinent information.
And then we leave.
It takes me a minute to figure out where to go since there’s no chance we can check into the hotel a day early. I called and checked already. I despise the decision I’ve made, but somehow convince myself it’s for Jackson. That’s why I find myself knocking on Henry’s door, fulfilling his wish that we’d come over anyway.
Surprise widens his eyes when he opens the door. “Rae, what are you doing here?”
“Can we come in?”
“Yeah, of course.” He steps aside and we come in. His house is nice, clearly a simple bachelor’s pad, but what surprises me the most is that in the corner of the living room are toys. “Those toys are here for you to play with, Jackson,” Henry says, noticing that Jackson’s focus is also on the toys. “You can play with them if it’s okay with your mom.”
Jackson looks up at me.
“Go ahead, baby. I need to talk to your dad for a minute anyway. We’ll be right in there.” I point to the archway leading to the kitchen, visible from where we are. Once Jackson is diving through the toys, we step into the kitchen. “I’m sorry to show up unannounced, Henry.”
“It’s no problem. Do you want anything to drink?”
I shake my head.
“Not that I’m not thrilled to see Jackson, but what are you doing here, Rae?” he asks.
I don’t even flinch anymore. Calling me Rae is too ingrained in him and he hasn’t been able to kick the habit yet. Maybe I can pretend it’s Bree calling me that, or that Bree is the one who originally gave me the nickname, and all the hurt and history that the nickname holds will begin to fade away. I take a deep breath and try to figure out how to answer his question before settling on the truth.
“I’m not used to having people in my life, okay? Elias and Bree are in my life, which is great. But right now, his entire family, plus a friend, is spending the Christmas holiday at his house and I don’t think I can stay there with them. I didn’t realize they were coming today, and I can’t check into the hotel until tomorrow, so...” I stare into his eyes, hoping he’ll understand.
“You want to stay here tonight?” There’s surprise and something else in his voice.
“Please? We’ll still come back on Christmas Day.”
“Raelynn, you and Jackson shouldn’t have spend Christmas in a hotel room.”
I hold up my hand. “Do not question my decisions, Henry.”
“I’m not,” he swears. “I’m just saying if you’d prefer, you can stay here. I have an extra room. I made sure to find a house with an extra room in case Jackson ever spent the night. Wouldn’t you rather be in a house instead of a hotel room?”
For Jackson’s sake, yes. But do I want it to be Henry’s house? I don’t know.
“And this is my first Christmas with him, so I’d be extremely grateful to have the extra time with him.”
“I’d lose the money I paid on the hotel.” And I definitely don’t want to waste money.
“I can pay you back for that,” he offers. “Please, Raelynn. I’ve made too many mistakes. Let me give you somewhere to go other than a hotel room. Let me spend Christmas with Jackson, even though I don’t deserve it.”