They lie on the floor, breathing heavy, yet staying silent. Cal eventually takes his shirt off and holds it to his nose.
Finally, I ask, “Should I call your father?” He was always the peacemaker between the two. He helped settled arguments and told them what they needed to do or stop doing.
“No,” they both answer.
“Are you sure? Because I think we should.”
“Stay out of our shit, Julie,” Cal snaps.
Collin elbows him. “Don’t start. She’s in my life whether you like it or not; find a way to be civil. If she can manage, you sure as hell can.”
The room falls silent once more. Cal releases a long steady breath before turning to look at his brother.
“I’m sorry.”
Collin nods. “Apology accepted.” He goes to stand and that’s when a bit of outrage emerges on Cal’s face.
“That’s it? You aren’t going to apologize too?”
“For what?” Collin bites back.
“I said I was sorry because I was an ass and I know I give you a hard time when I shouldn’t. Now, it’s your turn to say sorry because you put us on such ridiculous pedestals and the world fucking falls apart if one of us falls off it. You’re just as hard on me as you are on yourself, Collin. We both deserve a break. Now fucking apologize.”
Collin glances at me, but I only shrug; I don’t give a damn whether he does this or not. He also releases a long, steady breath, but his is much heavier. Loaded down with reluctance and probably a bit of shame, as if he thinks Cal is right. “I’m sorry,” he replies quietly.
“Are you guys going to hug now?” I ask, earning glares from them both. “What? Your parents did in fact make you do that.”
“If we’re done, go home. It’s been a long day,” Collin tells Cal, ignoring what I said.
“You aren’t going to tell me what happened?” Cal seems disappointed by this. Maybe worried too, but that doesn’t surprise me.
“I’m taking a medical leave, essentially.” Collin sits down on the couch and Marmalade claws his way out of my arms to run to him. “I have to see two therapists: one for hockey and one for all this other shit. I get at least two weeks. That’s it.”
Cal sticks his hands in his pockets as if he doesn’t know what to do other than stand there and look awkward. “At least the team is working with you and trying to get you help.”
“Yeah,” is all Collin says.
His evil twin glances at me with uncertainty. But I don’t want his help with anything, not even Collin. I can still see and feel his rigid back when Cal implied he was crazy. While knowing how Collin looks up to him and compares himself to Cal, there’s no way I want to aid in enforcing that in any way. They need some separation and their differences need to be made more prominent. There has to be a way I can showcase that.
You’ve done enough damage here, I telepathically send to Cal. Go crawl back into your hole and never come out, please and thank you. We don’t need you. You aren’t welcome.
It’s almost as if Cal can read my thoughts because his eyes harden and his mouth flattens as if to say back, I’m not going anywhere. We’re twins; we’re inseparable.
Ha. We’ll see about that.
“Jules?”
My eyes snap over to Collin, who caught my silent conversation with Cal. The corners of his eyes are pinched with worry. “Yeah?” I ask.
“Maybe Cal should eat dinner with us?”
I glance over at Cal, who smirks. We totally had a telepathic conversation. Focusing back on Collin, all I say is, “If you want to.” Of course, I don’t want him here, but what can I do about that? He is easily going to be in my life forever because of Collin and I can be civil, even if it feels like it’s against my own will.
Not to mention, after today, after seeing Collin curled like a baby on the pavement in between two cars, seemingly out of it and talking with such a bleak monotone that was so dreadful on my ears, I can do anything for him. Even his eyes seemed dead. Empty. Lifeless. And it’s all because he thought he was losing hockey. His livelihood and career. Even now, his eyes aren’t quite the same.
He seems to think about it for a moment, but then sighs. “Maybe tomorrow, Cal.”
Without any hesitation, I walk over and open the door for him to leave. Collin shakes his head at me, but there’s a barely-there smile on his face. Cal doesn’t acknowledge me, except for the fact that he does leave.