I already plan to have Deanna be with her as much as possible since the second round starts tomorrow. Trace said he would be willing to speak with her if she wanted to talk to someone. Julie will get whatever she needs. I’ve even told the team that if she says she needs me to stay, I plan to stay and miss however many games necessary. I will not put her second again.
“Did y’all make it to the next round?” she asks.
“Yeah. Starts tomorrow.” Thank god we get to kick it off at home.
“Oh.” A simple, lackluster reply.
“I plan to stay with you as long as you want me to,” I reassure her.
She lifts her head. “You can play, Collin. I’ll be fine.”
“We’ll talk about it later.”
Her head returns to my shoulder and remains there throughout the rest of the flight. At some point, I realize she’s fallen asleep once again.
“What will you do about the games?” Cal asks. “Do you really think she’s okay?”
“I don’t know and no, I don’t.”
“No one will blame you for staying out. Everyone knows family comes first.”
That’s true. While I feel as if both of my families need me right now, there is only one who will make the ultimate decision.
A few hours later, Julie and I walk through my apartment door. Thankfully, Cal takes his leave of us then. It’s been nice to have him nearby, but his work is done. Marmalade goes nuts over Julie. He rubs his body against her legs, purring louder than I’ve ever heard him. It takes Julie all of two seconds to pick him up.
“I’ve never heard his motor that loud,” I comment as I drop my bag in one of the chairs. “He missed you.”
“I missed him too.”
That much is obvious. Marmalade nuzzles his head against her face and she’s smiling wider than I’ve seen since I arrived at the hospital. I’ve talked plenty of shit about Marmalade, but never again. This moment right here, watching something as simple as a damn cat make her happy after she just survived hell? Marmalade is officially my cat.
“Come sit, Jules,” I say as I take a seat on the couch. She comes over and sits next to me, curling into my side with Marmalade on her lap. “Anything you want to do for the rest of the evening?”
“No. Maybe take a bath, but otherwise, I don’t want to do anything at all.”
That will be easy to accomplish.
She looks up at me. “I want you to play, Collin. Let’s get back to normal; that’s normal.”
“Are you sure? The team will be fine without me.” She nods her head twice. “Okay. If that’s what you want. Trace said you can talk to him if you want, too. You can obviously talk to me if you want, but I didn’t know if you might want to talk to someone else.”
“This isn’t the first time I’ve been through this, Collin,” she says plainly. “I’ll be fine. I just need a few weeks to readjust and let it hit me that he’s really gone.”
All I can do right now is keep an eye on her and take her word for it.
I ache.
I hurt.
I’m still exhausted.
Collin invites me to his game tonight, but I turn him down. Only because I don’t want to face those women when I look so beat up. Maybe they will respect my privacy, but even if they do, my body just hurts too much to get out and about.
I did call work to let them know I’m back in town. I’ll return next week. They have no idea how grateful I am that they are working with me. They told me to take the rest of the week off; I didn’t even have to ask. That wouldn’t have happened back home. I know because it happened the last time Dwight took me.
Collin has been gone most of the day. It’s been surprisingly nice to be here alone with Marmalade to keep me company. Collin’s worry is evident, though. There are sticky notes in various places around the apartment with his therapist’s number on it. He also wrote a little note to call Deanna if I want. What he failed to mention, that I learn when there is a knock on the door, is that Deanna is
coming over to watch the game with me.