“Yeah. I had a nightmare is all.” My brows furrow. “Did you win the game?”
Collin smiles. “Yeah. We won.” His smile wavers a bit. “Do you want to talk about your nightmare?”
“No.” Then I notice Deanna is gone. “Did Deanna leave?”
Collin nods. “Once I got here, she did. Let’s go to bed. It’s late and you’re obviously ready.”
I sit completely upright and it suddenly hits me what Deanna and I talked about. “Wait. Collin, we need to talk.” He becomes very still, but waits for me. “I don’t blame you. For telling me to leave and what happened after. It’s not your fault.” He opens his mouth, but I rest my forefinger over it. “Let it go, Collin. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. I hadn’t even thought about it until Deanna told me it still bothered you; that’s how much it doesn’t bother me. So, for me, let it go. Please?”
“For you,” he says with a nod.
“Thank you.”
Collin leans forward to kiss me softly. “Bed, Jules.” He stands, takes my hand, and leads me to his bedroom.
The next few minutes are bland as we prepare for bed. Collin keeps sneaking looks at me, but I’m unsure why.
“How are you feeling?” he asks as we crawl underneath the sheets.
“Okay.”
“Can I hold you?”
What a crazy question. I snuggle against his side. The pure contentedness that comes from being held by someone who absolutely loves me is fulfilling. I’m right where I need to be. Where I belong.
As if reading my mind, Collin says, “Do you feel like we made it? Like we’re finally where we belong? Like we overcame all we needed to and it’ll be as smooth sailing as it can be from here on out?”
“Yeah, I do.”
His sigh is one of relief. “I never thought I’d say it, but I’m ready for the season to be over. We will be spending so much time relaxing.”
I chuckle. “You forget that I don’t get summers off.”
“We will still be relaxing, Jules. Just you and me.”
“Where will Cal be?” I tease.
“Not my problem. It will be just us,” he promises.
We fall quiet before the fact that I have a job hits me again. “When should I return to work?”
“Whenever you feel ready, Jules.”
I accept that answer and close my eyes, praying for no nightmares.
“Isn’t this a conflict of interest?”
Collin’s therapist chuckles. “Would you like to see someone else?”
“No,” I reply quietly, my eyes bouncing from spot to spot around the room. After a week of nightmares, Collin refused to leave for his road trip unless I promised to make an appointment with a therapist. So here I am with his own therapist. While I encouraged Collin to speak with someone, I feel so uncomfortable.
“Tell me how it feels to be home.”
“Nice,” I answer with a shrug. “I went back to work today. Everyone treats me as if I was gone on a horrible vacation.” My gaze briefly lands on Mr. Lexington. “I feel like he’s still out there somewhere.”
He nods. “It can be hard to accept he’s truly out of your life. You’ll get there. Do you think that’s part of why you’re having nightmares?”
Well, he gets straight to the point.