Always (Bold As Love 4)

“I'm so hungry that my stomach wants to eat itself. I'm so hungry that I could eat a horse. I'm starving, Jake. Star-ving.”

“Okay, okay. Help us pack up and we'll go to grab some burgers.”

I get the chairs folded and together, while Emily wraps in a towel and Drake grabs the cooler. I notice him struggling just a little and switch with him. Drake has one chair in one hand and two in the other. Once we reach my car, we throw everything into my trunk and head to the restaurant, which is right down the street. Emily slips on one of my shirts to cover up her body, even though she doesn't have to since this is a place at the beach. They aren't strict on the shoes and shirt rule. Drake, who has been on a gentlemen kick, rushes to open the door for Emily. He steps in behind her and makes it where I have to grab the door quickly, or it'll close behind him.

The place is pretty busy, but we manage to find a booth. I take a seat next to Emily and Drake sits across from us. Sweetness leans her head on my shoulder and wraps her arms around my left arm. I kiss the top of her head and ask if everything's okay.

“Yeah, what's wrong, Emily?” Drake asks.

“I'm fine. Just enjoying time with my boys.” Sweetness holds my hand and squeezes it, reassuring me that her words ring true. We order and eat minutes later. Emily's nit-picking at her food.

Drake scarfs his down and is apparently ready to leave as he asks, “Can we get a milkshake and then go home?”

“Sure thing.” I call over the waitress to order Drake a milkshake to go. When it arrives, I hand Emily the keys and let them go ahead to the car while I pay. Things are pretty quiet until later when Sweetness and I are laying in bed.

"I keep thinking about what Eve said and how true it is. For once, I want to be able to keep you from breaking down. For once, I want to be in control of my life. I'm tired of dissolving every time something comes up or running to someone else, as it appears, I do so often."

"Sweetness, you are so strong, and you don't even see it. Trying to keep everything inside is what makes you weak. All you have to do is talk to me about it, and we can settle things."

"That's just it, Jake. I want to be independent. I want to solve a problem on my own for a change. You're always there to save me."

"Have you ever thought that maybe, that's what makes us work?"

"What are you talking about?" she asks.

"If you and I were so independent that we never needed to lean on the other, what kind of relationship would we have? What would be the point in us being together? Don't you see? Our love is all about being able to lean on the other."

"When do you ever lean on me?" Emily interrupts skeptically.

"All the time. You help me through my tough times without knowing it. Just because I don't tell you when I need you, doesn't mean you don't push me through. Canada near 'bout killed me. The simple thought of you and everything that makes you my Sweetness got me through. Each night we talked, hearing your voice made things bearable."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that we made it through two weeks. We've made it through a year and a half. We can make it through anything. All there is to do is keep talking with one another and being there for each other. Can you handle that?"

"By no means do I want to give up on us, love. With everything that happens unexpectedly, I want something stable to lean on."

"And that, Sweetness, would be me."

That earns me a smile, but it quickly fades.

"And my mother. I mean, I almost feel bad for telling her to die slowly. Part of me wants to give her another chance because she is dying, but a large part of me doesn't care. I want her to die slowly, Jake. I want her to feel pain. How can I feel that way?"

Her heart is breaking all over again and wit

h it, mine shatters. "It's okay for you to feel that way considering how she treated you."

"But it wasn't always like that. Should she get a second chance because of how she was before that? I don't want to give her that satisfaction, Jake. I hate her."

Emily collapses to tears in my arms. It's best to let her cry it out, and that's exactly what I let her do. Once her tears come to a rest, I've found my words.

"Then don't. Don't give her that second chance. I can't believe I'm saying this, but make sure that's what you want. Make sure you decide on something that you won't regret. I'll be here for you on whatever you decide."

"Thank you. I love you."

Laying here as my Sweetness falls asleep, I can't quit thinking about her comment of wanting something stable to lean on. I meant what I said. I can be her rock when she needs me, and she can lean on me whenever she wishes.

Maybe the right moment has come.