Always (Bold As Love 4)

“Hello?”

“Hey, Sweetness. How'd it go?”

“Fine. How was your day?”

“It went well. You coming over tonight?”

“No, I think I'm going to stay here.”

“Oh. Everything okay?”

I groan. “Why does everyone keep asking me that? I mean, just because I want to be at home shouldn't mean that something's wrong.”

“Sorry, Sweetness. I just wanted to make sure since you visited your mother today.”

“I told you it went well,” I say still irritated.

“Okay, okay. I'll talk to you later, then. Love you.”

“I love you too.”

Dad calls for me from the kitchen and I leave my phone on the bed as I head that way. We eat in silence and it reminds me of all those dinners when I first moved in with him.

Awkward.

It doesn't really matter though, because I'm going to ignore it. I eat faster than normal just so I can go back to my room. All I really want to do right now is crawl into my bed and pretend it's a old friend who I need to catch up with. I'n not in bed five minutes when I start to feel guilty for the way I snapped at Jake. He just wanted to check in on me and I was a bitch to him.

I toss and roll onto my back to stare at the ceiling. There's so much to think about. First thing first, I get up to grab my computer and power it on. I've got to get the forms done to drop my classes. I'm pretty sure that Jake has already done this for himself. I think he'll have to get Drake registered for school soon as well. It takes longer than I thought. So much longer that when I get up for something to drink, Dad has already gone to bed.

With a water in tow, I return to my room and set it on my nightstand. After brushing my teeth and changing my clothes, I lay down for bed. Worry creeps up my spine, touching every possible surface to help spread the building anxiety. I can't pinpoint exactly what's making me worry. Part of it is how everything's going to change soon. We're moving to Chicago as soon as Jake finds a place. Jake's camps are coming up. Jake has to deal with the after effects of his father's death and that's a heavy task. Unless I transfer to a community college, I'll have to miss this semester and work instead. That'll put me behind, though.

I worry about how Drake will transition to all these upcoming changes. With the exception of his parents' death and Jake leaving for college, there's not much that has changed in his life. How will he deal with a new school? New peers? A new home? All this thinking is getting me nowhere. I'm too awake to try and sleep. The urge appears as if it never went away.

Throwing my covers aside, I hop out and change into shorts, a sports bra, and a tank top. I put on socks and tennis shoes then throw my hair up into a ponytail. I don't leave a note or bring my phone, just my headphones and iPod. There's no need. It's a warm summer night, technically morning, and running is just what I need.

30

Jake

Sleep. It's an annoying thing that I'm not too familiar with anymore. It comes and it goes. Thinking that I need a change of scenery, I leave my room and go sit on the porch. I can easily remember sitting on these porch steps with my mom beside me. She would wrap an arm around my shoulders and ask about my day. Mom would listen so attentively and I could have talked forever. I probably did.

After the news of her cancer, it would be just me and her and we would sit here quietly, watching as the cars passed. When I told her about my first crush, it was here on these steps. When I told her I got on the team, it was on these steps. Sometimes, I just want to sit on these steps with her. Only she's not here anymore and I'm on these steps alone.

Sighing, I look up to the sky and catch a particular star that's shining so bright. My mind turns to Emily and how she was clearly annoyed earlier. I wonder what happened with her mom. Will she tell me? The night is quiet with the exception of crickets singing their song until I hear footsteps. I glance down the street in the direction of the sound and see a figure running on the sidewalk across the street. Whomever it is seems to be in no hurry. Faintly, I can see the swishing of hair.

Emily with ear buds in place is focused on the route before her. She doesn't even see me sitting here. She keeps on running.

“Emily,” I call out, hoping she'd hear me over her music, but she doesn't. I get up and run after her. Catching her arm, she shrieks and swivels to face me.

“Jake! What the hell? You scared the shit outta me!” she says in a still high pitch voice as she takes out her ear buds.

“I'm sorry. I tried to call out to you, but your music must have been too loud.”

Her hands are shaking. I take them in mine and say in a low voice, “Hey, calm down. It's okay. I'm sorry.”

“It's fine. I was just distracted. What are you doing awake?”

“What are you doing up?” I ask in return. She gives me a half smile and then goes to wrap her arms around my waist. Locking her hands together, she attempts to bury her face into my chest.