No. Emily will be heartbroken. Our baby was dying. Dying before it was even born. Tears fall onto Emily’s face as my vision blurs. I rock her in my arms until the ambulance arrives and carries her off. All my thoughts are on Emily and our lost baby. I ride in the ambulance with Emily and hold her hand. The ride to the hospital seemed to take forever. Once there though, they take Emily away from me. I slide down the wall and bury my face on my arms, which are folded over my knees. Sobs rack my body. What if there are complications? What if something happens to Emily? Terror courses through my blood at an alarming rate.
I wanted the baby to be okay, but I needed Emily to be fine. The horror of that statement crashes into me along with sadness and grief. Hours later, I lift my head when I hear, “Mr. Johnson?” I ignore the fact that I didn’t notice when Dad and Mike got here. I stand up, walk beside Mike, and wait for the doctor to continue.
“Your daughter suffered from a miscarriage. We had to perform a D&C, which is dilation and curettage, to stop the bleeding and prevent infection. She’ll need to monitor herself closely to ensure that the bleeding has completely stopped. If not, she’ll need to return. She should be waking up in a few minutes.”
Relief floods through me at the words of her condition, but at the same time grief comes over me like a tidal wave. I follow Mike down to Emily’s room and immediately make my way to her side. I take her hand and place a gentle kiss on her knuckles. She
looked so peaceful and innocent. How was I supposed to tell her that we lost our baby? I knew she was beginning to get excited about the surprising gift that was coming. How could I just break her heart like that? I didn’t have any time to think on it because Emily’s eyes fluttered open.
Panic takes over as she takes in her surroundings. “What happened,” she asks, her eyes going back and forth between the three of us.
“Sweetness,” I begin, my voice gentle. Emily’s eyes immediately tear up. Oh god, she knows what is coming. My throat tightens. “We lost the baby,” I say barely audible.
“No,” Emily’s shaking voice denies. Tears flow from her eyes like a flood. I gather her in my arms and rock her. She beats into my chest and each blow feels like a stabbing to the heart. The truth and reality of my words truly hit me.
Tears pour out of my eyes and together, Emily and I sob over our lost baby. I feel the arms of my dad and Mike surround us. After twenty minutes, my tears come to a stop with the realization that I need to be strong for Emily. “Can you give us a minute,” I ask. After a slight hesitation, they agree and walk out. I lay with Emily and kiss her head. “We’ll get through this, Sweetness.”
“There has to be a mistake, Jake. Our baby can’t be gone!”
My heart breaks into a billion pieces. “There’s no mistake. I’m so sorry, Emily.” The sobs return full force and I feel so helpless.
“I’m sorry, Jake. I’m so, so sorry, Jake.” She repeats it over and over.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for Sweetness.” She shakes her head. The doctor walks in and informs us that Emily can leave. I walk over to the bag her father brought and hand her a change of clothes.
“I’ll wait outside,” I tell her and she doesn’t even look at me. I follow the doctor out and close the door behind me. Minutes later, she comes out. She doesn’t make eye contact with anyone and my heart falls. Images of when I first met Emily flash before me. She can’t withdraw into herself. Not now. Not when I need her most. We just lost our baby. I was just as hurt. I needed Emily.
I placed my hand on her lower back. “Do you want me to drive you home?”
She shakes her head. “Just go home, Jake.” What?
“You don’t want me to come with you?” She shakes her head and walks off to where her father is standing. I just stand there; lost and confused. Mike and Emily head out to the parking lot. Dad walks over to me, pats my shoulder, and says, “Let’s go home son.”
I blankly followed him out. I climbed into his car and the next thing I knew, I was home. I climbed up the stairs, ignoring Drake who has been oblivious to Emily’s pregnancy, and fall into my bed on my stomach. I bury my face in my pillow and let out all my tears.
My baby is gone. Emily doesn’t want me around and there’s nothing I can do to make her feel better. An hour later, I hear my door open. I don’t look, but I wipe my eyes. “Jake,” Drake’s cautious voice asks.
“What do you want,” I ask harshly.
“Is everything okay?”
“No.”
“What’s wrong,” he asks.
I sigh and roll over. I sit up and pat the space beside me. “Emily was pregnant. She lost the baby, Drake. That’s what is wrong.”
He sits there is stony silence before he looks up at me with watery eyes. “I’m sorry Jake.” His arms snake around me in a bear hug.
I return the hug but hold in my tears. “We’ll be okay buddy. We have to be okay.”
“Can I go see Emily?”
I take a swallow. “I’m not sure she wants company, but we’ll ride over and see. Go get ready.” He gets up and goes to his room to put on his shoes. I stand and slip on my own shoes. I grab my keys off my nightstand and we head over to Emily’s.
Emily
I walked straight to my bedroom and closed my door. I changed into pajamas and crawled into bed over my covers. I lay in fetal position and stare at the wall, feeling numb. Tears fall from the creases of my eyes. I don’t know how long I laid there, but I faintly hear a knock on my door. I don’t answer and a few seconds later, I see Jake crouching in front of me.