Back to Me (Carolina Rebels 1)

“We can’t wait.”

Who would’ve thought that I’m actually looking forward to it, too?

HOW DO YOU plan a proposal when your girlfriend knows it’s coming? That has to be the worst decision I’ve ever made: telling her that I would propose. Now, instead of simply surprising her, I have to think of a way to surprise her in such a way where she doesn’t know something is up. At first wind of something unusual, she’s going to suspect what’s about to happen. I want to catch her completely off guard. How in the hell do I plan something like that?

This thinking leads me to call my sister once Meredith has left for work. I haven’t talked to her much lately, so it’s time for me to call anyway.

“What do you want?” she answers with the sound of Nicholas wailing in the background.

“That’s no way to greet your brother.”

“It is when he can’t tell his sister he’s back with his no-good ex or that there’s apparently going to be a wedding in the summer!” Looks like she may be more dissatisfied than my mother.

“Don’t call her no-good. We’re happy and you’re going to either be happy about it or keep that shit to yourself.” The last thing I want is to have a pair of Negative Nancys in my ear, especially when they don’t know what I know and they don’t see what I see when it comes to Meredith. I think one reason why it bothers Ashley so much is that she and Meredith became friends when we dated back in high school. I lost my girlfriend, but Ashley lost one of her best friends. Meredith abandoned all of us.

“You can’t tell me when to let go of a grudge,” she grumbles as Nicholas’s crying seems to have died down.

“Are we going to discuss this or are you going to help me with my problem?”

“What problem?” All the anger has left her voice.

Most brothers and sisters probably hate each other at some point, and we had our fair share when we were younger, but ever since I left home for hockey, my sister and I have become close. She’s my go-to when my problems involve a girl. Sometimes, I’ll talk to my parents, but always Ashley first.

“Since you know about the wedding, I’m assuming you also know I haven’t proposed yet.”

“You want to ask me for advice on something involving Meredith? What part about me holding a grudge did you miss, Noah?”

“Do you want me to be happy?” I snap the question at her, reaching my limit of hearing about this. If I can get over it, she sure as hell can too.

Ashley sighs and I hear a giggle from the baby. “Fine. What’s your problem?”

“How do I surprise her with a proposal she knows is coming? She already knows I have a ring, she’s seen it, and she knows I’m planning a proposal. How can I surprise her?”

She takes a minute to think. “The only thing I can think of is if you carried the ring around all the time and whenever there’s a moment when it just hits you how much you love her, drop down on one knee in the middle of whatever’s happening and pop the question. Don’t plan it. Just do it when you can’t imagine waiting another second because you love her so much.”

“Your advice is to not plan it and be completely spontaneous?”

“Do you know of another way to be so sneaky in order to surprise her?” My silence answers her question. “So you’ve forgiven her for everything?”

“I’ve been waiting for her to come back since the day she left. What do you think?”

“I think that sounds too easy and simple.”

That sentence stays with me long after our conversation ends. Some of it has been easy, like us reconnecting rather seamlessly, but there have been bumps too. From me panicking over her leaving for the weekend to her past, not everything has been easy or simple. Meredith feels more secure now that she has a plan, so the hard part is behind us, right?

God, I hope so.

From the moment I saw Meredith play and smile from her victory, I’ve wanted her. Then I got to know her and fell head over skates for her. She’s always been the one. Any attempt at moving forward was a poor one because none of the girls were Mere. There were some good ones that made me feel guilty that I still thought about Meredith as often as I did. Even through the breakup, I held on as tightly as I could from following her career, still talking to her parents, and even attending a few of her matches.

There are parts of her past that bother me when I think about them, but there’s no use in dwelling on it. Everything has worked out. I make my way into our bedroom and to our closet, grabbing the old shoebox. Finding the ring is easy. I set the shoebox back on the shelf and open the ring box.

She deserves better than the ring I was able to purchase when I was eighteen. It’s too simple, too small. But I understand why she wants this one instead of a new one. I’m glad I kept it. Meredith would probably freak if I’d told her I nearly threw the damn thing away after I thought I saw her on campus and screwed up with the redhead by saying Meredith’s name by accident. I was so pissed with myself, but more at Meredith. I had the ring in my hand, ready to toss it into a river near campus, but I just couldn’t do it.

“What are you doing?”

I nearly throw the box at Marc. “What the hell?”

“I texted and said I was coming over. You didn’t answer, but door was unlocked. That for me?” He smirks.