Back in the Soldier's Bed

She’d nearly made it to the door when Emma’s voice stopped her.

“Aren’t you going to tuck me in, Daddy?”

Shannyn made the mistake of looking up at him. His eyes widened with the wonder of being asked such a thing, as if he’d been given the moon.

“Okay.” Hesitantly he stepped forward, smoothed the blankets about her, and leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead. “Goodnight, Emma.”

“Goodnight,” she whispered back.

Shannyn watched, swallowing against tears gathering in her throat. She’d

missed him so when he went away and had often wondered what it would have been like for him to know Emma even while doing her best to protect her daughter. She still wasn’t sure Jonas wouldn’t hurt them in the end, but the tender way he was with Emma touched her deeply. It was like he put everything aside and focused on her alone.

He was here now. The more she saw of Jonas, the more convinced she was that he was dealing with something bigger than she realized. Perhaps Emma with her guileless ways could help with some of that healing in a way Shannyn couldn’t seem to.

He turned from the bedside and Shannyn saw the glimmer of tears on his cheeks before he cleared his throat. When he passed by her, his hand squeezed hers.

She turned and followed him downstairs, expecting to talk. But when they got there, he merely mumbled a thank you and left before she could say anything.

Leaving her with more questions than she’d had when he’d arrived.

On Sunday, Jonas called on the fly, saying he was heading across the river on an errand and would Emma like to go for lunch.

Shannyn paused. On his first visit they hadn’t even broached the topic of visitation. When and where he could expect visits. Yet after his episode, she wasn’t comfortable in letting Emma go with him alone. He’d only met her once, after all. The alternative was that in order to say yes, she’d have to go, too.

She held the receiver close to her ear, knowing he was waiting for her answer. And wasn’t this a slippery slope. If she wanted to keep her perspective, seeing Jonas should be the last thing she wanted. Instead, her heart leapt at the sound of his voice.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” she explained. “Emma has only seen you once. I think it might be too soon.”

“Then you come, too. I have to drop something off on Main Street, and I was going to grab some fast food. I thought I could use some company.”

Well, there went that idea. She didn’t know what to say.

“Shannyn, you told me that you wanted me to be present in Emma’s life, not in and out. That’s all I’m trying to do.”

Now he was using her own words against her. Keeping him at arm’s length was proving more difficult than she’d imagined. “I don’t know, Jonas, it’s awfully sudden.”

“Come on, Shan. It’s only lunch. What else have you got going on today? It’s Sunday. It’s raining.”

“I’m cleaning the house.” She looked around at the living room, dusted and polished. A tiny white lie wasn’t going to kill her.

“It’s an hour out of the afternoon. I’d really like to see her.”

Shannyn couldn’t come up with any more logical arguments. “Oh, all right. Lunch, but that’s it.”

“I’ll pick you up in half an hour.”

Shannyn hung up the phone and frowned. The sudden urge to change into neater clothes came over her and she resisted. There was nothing wrong with her jeans or the cotton pullover she’d put on this morning. Her hair was up in a ponytail and she left it that way as a point of defiance. She was not going to make an effort to be pretty for Jonas Kirkpatrick!

Emma, on the other hand, decided primping was necessary, and the minutes leading to his arrival were spent picking out the right shirt and brushing Emma’s hair until it shone. Shannyn tucked it back with a headband and couldn’t help but smile at the pixie face grinning up at her.

“Where’re we going to eat?” Emma asked.

“I don’t know. You’ll have to ask Jonas.”

Emma held on to the stair railing as she bounced down the stairs. “I hope it’s Wendy’s. I’m going to have chicken nuggets and fries and root beer.”

Shannyn only shook her head. Some days she wished she had a fraction of Emma’s energy and enthusiasm.