Back in the Soldier's Bed

“Shannyn, there is no we. It’s better that way and we both know it.” He resumed pacing. “I cannot believe you are honestly sitting there thinking about there being a you and me.”

Shannyn felt as though she’d been struck. Whether or not Jonas had been thinking it or not, she had, and it was clear to her now that any atmosphere she’d detected between them earlier, any flirting he’d promoted, had been misinterpreted.

She didn’t trust him. She didn’t know him. His moods seemed to blow hot and cold from one moment to the next. He was a different man but in some ways nothing had changed. For all her intentions today, Jonas was the one making the first real step to setting boundaries. It should have been a relief. Instead she found herself irrationally blinking back tears that she didn’t want him to see.

“I’m sorry if that’s harsh.” His voice gentled slightly. “I just think we have to be honest here. You are still furious with me for not taking you with me. And I’m still angry with you for keeping Emma from me. To start anything between us would be foolish at the very least.”

It sounded so perfectly reasonable.

She lifted her chin. She had been thinking it. How could she not, when the only man she’d ever loved was back and had landed smack dab in her business? He was right about them being angry at each other, but it wasn’t quite so easy for her to ignore the feelings she’d always had for him.

“You’re right, of course,” she responded as coolly as she could. Somehow, she had to get the topic back on track. “Regardless, we have to resolve the visitation issue.”

He ran a hand over his head in frustration. “In the army we just move on and leave the past behind.”

She pointed at his leg. “That’s a lie and you know it. There’s a lot you haven’t left behind.”

“Let it go.”

“I can’t. I have to know.”

“Know what?”

Her breath strangled her as she tried to straighten her shoulders. All these years she’d wondered. Now she had the opportunity to ask him and fear held her captive. No, she had to ask. She couldn’t leave this time without knowing the truth.

“Why you left me without a word. Why did you do it, Jonas? You transferred out and never spoke to me again. Just like that. Hey, it was fun. And I was left here with a baby on the way and no one to rely on but myself.”

“You think it was easy to leave you?”

She was surprised at how he raised his voice. Somehow this was developing into an argument, but she kept it going because she thought perhaps it was the only way to get to the truth.

“That’s exactly what I think. I think that you had your fun with me, but when the call came to go, you were ready. More than ready. I think you thought of nothing more than what was in your sights. Being a sharpshooter.”

“You couldn’t be more wrong!”

She stood up, angry now because he’d never said a single word to make her think anything different. “How on earth would I know?”

The words hung in the air between them, crackling with hostility and something darker, something persuasive.

“Because of this.”

Before she could breathe, he stepped up to her, gripped her waist with his right hand and pulled her close, pressing his lips to hers.

No warning. No prelude. Just mouth-to-mouth pent-up passion that made her knees turn watery and her heart pound ridiculously.

She wound her arms around his neck, kissing him back as if he were her lifeline.

He tasted the same. That was the first sensation that made it through the haze of desire in her mind. He tasted the same and he kissed the same, the two of them fitting together as if no time had passed at all. His wide hand slid from the hollow of her back to her ribs, then up, until his thumb grazed the underwire of her bra. She was helpless to stop the immediate reaction of her body, leaning into his touch, begging him to slide that thumb up over her nipple…

He did, flicking the peak, and desire shot straight to her pelvis.

She reached down and molded her hand against the bulge in his jeans, the heat of him through the denim a sexy surprise. But instead of growing more rushed, they slowed down, taking their time with exploratory caresses.

The kiss gentled, grew fuller as their tongues twined and meshed and he filled his hand with her breast. When he needed breath, he pulled away and rested his forehead against hers as he pulled his hand away. She opened her eyes, marveling at seeing his lashes against his cheeks.

“Jonas,” she whispered.

He pushed her away, stepping back, in control once more, though the rapid rise and fall of his chest told her he was just as aroused as she.