Back in the Soldier's Bed

Kissing him felt right in a way that nothing had been right since he’d gone away. With one heated kiss she started longing for things she hadn’t let herself long for since Emma had been born.

With one kiss, it had stopped being about what had been between them in the past. And had moved firmly into the territory of what Shannyn wanted for the future.

And what she wanted terrified her. Loving Jonas would be a risk, and she wasn’t a risk-taker. He was still in the army. He would still work where they said he worked. And she knew that he would still go, rather than choose her. She closed the appointment book firmly.

At that same moment, the door opened and he walked through it, large and imposing in his regular work clothes. His bearing—so straight, so tall and confident—drew heads and looks of approval.

Then his eyes met hers and she felt it clear to her core. The kiss that had been present in her memory now seemed to tingle on her lips. She could feel the way his fingers dug into her arms as he pulled her close. The warmth of his palm on her breast. The way his breath had fluttered against her cheeks as he pressed his forehead to hers.

He paused longer than necessary, the door handle forgotten in his hand. The longing to cross the room and find his arms again was crazy, but strong. Her breath caught. It wasn’t that she hadn’t moved on after Jonas. It wasn’t that being a single mom made it hard to date, even though that’s how she’d explained it for years.

For the first time, seeing him again, the first time since they’d kissed, she realized that what she’d done all these years was waited. She’d been waiting for him.

And now here he was, a little older and with a lot more baggage, unwilling to let her in. And she was unwilling to ask him to.

Jonas must have realized how they were staring because he finally let the door handle go and it took its lazy time shutting behind him. He approached the desk, his eyes only leaving Shannyn’s briefly as he gave his name to the receptionist.

Shannyn stepped forward. “Hello, Jonas.” The words seemed strangled and forced. Yet to say more, here in public, seemed too intimate; inappropriate.

“Shan.”

She swallowed at the warm tone of the single syllable. Was she just imagining it? Or did he seem less aloof now than he had before?

“I forgot about your appointment today.”

“I didn’t.”

He put one hand in his pocket and balanced his weight on his good hip. Had he thought about that kiss as much as she had?

They had to stop staring at each other.

“I told Emma about Saturday. She’s very excited.”

His lips tipped up and her heart did a slow turn-over, simply knowing that the thought of their daughter could make him smile and his eyes light.

“I’m excited, too. I’ve got to be on base in the morning it turns out, otherwise I could have taken you both to the static display.”

“Don’t worry.” She dipped her head, suddenly shy. “We’re both looking forward to the afternoon.”

His eyebrows came together a bit and she licked her lips nervously. Being pulled in opposite directions was turning out to be not so much fun.

“Me, too,” was his simple reply. His forehead relaxed and she thought for a moment he was going to come toward her.

She turned her head slightly at the sound of another door opening. “It looks like Geneva is ready for you now.”

He turned towards the door leading to the treatment area.

“Jonas?”

He stopped, turning only his head to look at her.

The words stuck in her throat. “Nothing, never mind,” she muttered. “I’ll see you when you’re done.”

He was gone several minutes when curiosity got the better of her. She rarely interrupted a therapy session, but today she wanted to see—to really see—what had happened to his leg. More than an accidental glimpse of the angry scar marring the skin of his thigh. He had been so self conscious about it the other day. And she knew if she were to ask to see it, he’d find an excuse.

She knocked on the door to the exercise room. Inside she saw Jonas on a blue mat on the floor, Geneva kneeling beside him, her touch gentle on his leg as he bent at the waist, stretching the stiff muscles.

“Hi,” she offered quietly.