Back in the Soldier's Bed

Shannyn’s lip quivered. Didn’t he understand how important this was? She could barely get the words out. “How did this suddenly become about me?”

“You’re the one who had a secret. If I hadn’t shown up, I still wouldn’t know about Emma. So don’t pretend my problems matter to you.” He braced his hands on his hips, looking satisfied with himself.

“Of course you matter to me!”

“Because of Emma.”

“Not only because of Emma!”

“Now we’re getting somewhere. Why don’t you just admit what you want, Shannyn.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m talking about this.”

He took three giant strides, swept her up and pressed his lips to hers.

And oh, he felt good. Tasted like tart lemon and sweet sugar blended with a flavor that was simply Jonas. Her arms were pinned against her sides as he crushed her close, kissing her and making every nerve ending in her body thrum with hope.

Hope.

Hope would be the worst mistake she could make. “Stop.” She pulled her way out of his arms, walking backwards until she was blocked by the stove. “Stop this. This doesn’t change anything.”

His lips curved craftily. “Oh, I think it does. I know how you felt just now.” His voice was silky, seductive. “How you tasted.”

A shiver teased over her body. But she knew now that it was his way of diverting the topic. And she had to press on. It was too important.

“No, Jonas. Not like this. We have problems to work out. I know that. But today is not the time. Today is about something bigger.”

The sexy smile disappeared as quickly as he’d put it on.

“Jonas, no one can go through what you did without having some sort of lingering effect.” She put the topic back on track. “You need to put it behind you. You do.”

“I just want to forget about it. I didn’t misread what happened just now. You can help me forget.” His eyes communicated tacit suggestions on how that might be accomplished.

Shannyn wanted to cry. If he only knew how desperately she wanted to make love. Knowing the reality of their situation had nothing to do with longings, and she had those aplenty. She remembered how it had been between them. Had imagined how it could be again, to her growing consternation.

If only healing were that simple. But damage had been done and she didn’t see how it could be fixed. And to use it as a method of running away…she wasn’t so naive. She knew it would only lead to more hurt. What she secretly wanted…the three of them together…that would never happen.

“You’ll never forget, Jonas, and you know that. You need to find a way to make peace with it, not make it disappear.” If only she could take her own advice.

She knew when she’d gotten through because he exhaled and put a hand over his face.

She went to him. For right now the rest didn’t matter. She laid her fingers on his shoulder and softly put her other hand over his and drew it down so his face was uncovered once more. “Please let me help you. Don’t you know you’re safe with me?”

The shoulder beneath her hand trembled and she struggled to hold back tears, longing for him to trust her this much. She let her fingers soothe their way down his arm, feeling the firm muscle beneath the warm skin.

“I care about what happens to you, Jonas. Not for Emma. Not for myself. For you.” She halted, afraid of the next words but saying them anyway. “Can’t you see you’re still in my heart?”

His breath caught. She felt him hold it in. She was so close to getting the rest of the way through. “If you can’t do it yourself, then let me be the strong one. You’ve fought for so long. Please, let me fight for you this one time. All you have to do is hold on.”

“I don’t know how to do that,” he admitted quietly.

“Just trust in me for once. Let go and start at square one and we’ll do it together, I promise.”

His arms snaked around her, pulling her close, cinching her tightly against him. She wrapped her arms around his ribs and held on, feeling their strength coming together. Accepting that together they were so much stronger than they were individually.

The sun had moved and was shining through the side window of the kitchen when Jonas stepped back and out of her arms.