In fact, the whole encounter had enhanced her approach to the paintings. Imbued her with a new emotion that would only be beneficial.
She was still stewing when Jeremy came through the house to the backyard through the house, carrying a huge paper bag in his hands. “Someone call for dinner?”
The smell of fries and fish filled the air, and Jess’s stomach rumbled again. She was hungry, and what Bran did with the lighthouse was his business, wasn’t it? She had absolutely no say. She had her sketches. Branson Black could do whatever he liked. And now she knew he had the money to do it. Despite the big house and beautiful car, she’d had no inkling he was so wealthy. He wasn’t flashy about it. She’d give him that much.
Jeremy laid out the meal, and Jessica went inside to get the wine and the corkscrew that Tori had put on the island. When she went back outside, Jeremy was holding Rose and Tori was filling her plate with food. It was so perfectly domestic. She wondered if Bran had experienced these moments with his wife and baby. Surely he had. And she could understand how a person might not come back from a loss like that.
She was sympathetic. But it didn’t mean she was willing to be...disposable.
Pasting on a smile, she took a takeout container and emptied it onto her plate. It certainly smelled delicious. Jeremy put Rose in her playpen again and worked on opening the wine. She’d stumbled onto the sticking point that had been nagging at her ever since that day at the lighthouse. He’d treated her as if she was disposable. And maybe he was angry at himself. But there was no question she’d felt cast aside, and that hurt. After going through most of her life feeling invisible, being seen and discarded hurt even more than not being noticed at all. This was why she didn’t put herself out there anymore. It just wasn’t worth it.
But she wasn’t going to let it ruin her evening, so she shook some vinegar on her fish, picked up her fork and dug in. It was perfectly flaky, the tartar sauce creamy and flavorful, and there was a plastic dish of coleslaw for them to share. The conversation turned to other things, namely Jeremy’s search for a property for the third in their trio, Cole, who wanted something he could use as a corporate retreat. So far not much had turned up on Jeremy’s radar.
When the meal was over, Jess carried the dirty dishes back to the kitchen and returned to the table with the carton of freshly washed berries. As the evening cooled, they talked and Jess had another glass of wine while Tori gave Rose a prepared bottle.
Jess was barely over thirty, but the family scene had her biological clock ticking madly tonight. When Rose was finished eating, she took her from Tori’s arms to give her a break and to get baby snuggles. She hadn’t thought about wanting children a whole lot, but spending time with Rose these past weeks had made her wonder. She smelled so good; like milk and baby lotion and fresh cotton. The fact that the baby settled so easily into her arms made her feel motherly and strangely competent. It took no time at all before Rose’s little lashes were resting on her cheeks and her lips opened slightly, slack in slumber.
She was such a sweet little thing. And for the first time in years, Jessica let herself really yearn for what she didn’t have. What she might never have. And she held on tight.
CHAPTER SIX
THE SUN WAS setting and Jeremy had just lit the citronella torches when the slamming of a car door echoed through the still evening air. Jess frowned and looked over her shoulder, but couldn’t see anything. A few moments later, Tori met her gaze and nodded. Bran, she mouthed, and Jess swallowed tightly. She was still thinking about the kiss, and thinking about him restoring the lighthouse. She bit down on her lip. She couldn’t escape the notion that he was fixing it because he wanted to essentially cover up what had happened between them. A fresh coat of paint and some new lumber would erase a lot, wouldn’t it?
“Good evening, Bran,” Tori said softly. “Come on in and have a seat.
You want a drink?”
“Naw, I’m good for now.” He came into the circle and nodded at Jess, his gaze settling on her and the baby in her arms. “Jessica. I didn’t know you’d be here.”
Or else he wouldn’t have come. She summoned her pride. “Likewise.”
He hesitated, but then sat. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”
Her cheeks heated and she let out a breath. “It’s okay. No biggie.”
Jeremy jumped into the middle of the awkwardness. “So, Bran. What brings you by? How was the trip to Halifax?”
“Good.” Bran smiled, and it transformed his face. Jess realized she’d hardly ever seen him smile, and that when he did she forgot just about everything in her head. His face completely changed, relaxing and opening more, while his soft lips curved beneath his beard.
The beard that had tickled her chin and neck not long ago. She pushed the thought away.
“You’re really going to change the lighthouse?” Jess asked, trying hard to keep censure out of her voice. She had no claim to it. Her creative “tingles” held no weight when it came to what he chose to do with the lighthouse It didn’t mean she had to be happy about it.
He nodded. “Yeah. It’s in pretty rough shape. I honestly think it’s been neglected for decades. First we’re going to make it safe. Then we’ll worry about cosmetics.”
“You don’t think all the changes will erase its character?”
“If I leave it as it is, it’ll rot away. I don’t want it to disappear.”
“Not to mention how it might work against resale value,” Jeremy pointed out, lifting his glass as he sat in a padded chair. “Sometimes selling points become liabilities real fast.”
Jess’s gaze met Bran’s. “You’re thinking of selling already?”
When he shook his head, she was relieved, though she couldn’t say why. Her life wasn’t here, and there was nothing really between them anyway. Why should she care if he stayed or not?
“No,” he answered firmly. “I don’t plan on selling for a while. Even if I go back to New York eventually, this is a great place to retreat to, you know?”
“What made you decide to take on the lighthouse, anyway?” Tori asked.